I believe forgiving our self is more challenging than forgiving another. Our wounds have us believing we are flawed and sometimes even down right bad. These thoughts are usually buried deeply. They drive our attitudes and behaviours.
A lack of self forgiveness leads to addiction, depression and self harm as well as projecting our self loathing onto others. Judgement, blame and shutting people out are common by products.
Without gracious, loving acceptance of who we were and what we did in the past we cannot accept ourselves fully today. This hinders our ability to love ourselves which means we wont be able to fully love another. It also prevents us from truly healing.
Why can you not forgive yourself? Is it because you know you did a "bad thing"? Or maybe you believe you are bad? Were you told there was something wrong with you or that God will punish you for particular actions? When we are taught God is judgemental we are being 'feared' into supposed right action. This will create beliefs tied up in 'there's something wrong with me.' Consider the idea that God is not a separate entity judging you, that this Divine Energy is within us all.
Children are naturally curious, they experiment. This is how they learn. Some of your behaviours may have pushed buttons in your parents and caregivers. When they communicate their anger or disappointment to you in a shaming way that's their stuff. As kids we are not aware of this. Our parents are our Gods. When we are told there is something wrong with us we believe them. We internalise these critical and belittling words. They become embedded in our psyches and lead to resentment of our very selves. We then become our own harshest and most judgemental critics.
You may not know that a lack of self forgiveness is affecting your life. Becoming aware of this will come to you in it's right time. If what I'm sharing is of particular interest right now then the time is right for you to explore and consider self forgiveness.
It's a beautiful practise that is magically liberating. It has the power to make you a more loving and lovable person.
wishing you kindness to your self