I find being an introvert a fascinating and sometimes frustrating discovery journey. This is because it was late in my life that I discovered I'm not an extrovert like I thought I was so I can sometimes give myself a hard time for not being more 'out in the world'.
I am confident, enthusiastic and I do have people skills which makes me appear quite extrovertish (my new word) however I don't get energised by being with others, don't tend to act without thinking and I don't always enjoy group work.
Back in my twenties I played the extrovert well. Taking centre stage was a breeze, in fact it helped me feel seen and heard, something my inner child was sadly lacking. In hindsight a party lifestyle was necessary for that apparent extroversion. Today I think those extroverted ways hid my more vulnerable introverted self.
Of course we are all complex and often have a mix of both traits, although we do tend to lean one way more than the other. Did you know there's such a thing as an omnivert? They fall right in the middle of introversion and extroversion. Maybe I'm one of those although at this stage relate more to being an introvert.
I've noticed introverts are now 'coming out', they're talking more about what it's like for them after years of feeling inferior to their more out there cousins. It's time for the extraverted world to know that there's nothing wrong with those of us who need a lot of alone time or prefer to be contacted by text or email rather than a call.
If you're an introvert -
You tend to have few relationships that are deep rather than loads of 'friends'.
(You crave friendships but think it takes lots of time and energy to have them.)
You are often resistant to social events and sometimes need to push yourself a little to get out. (The idea of it can be worse than the actuality)
You get energised by being alone and reflecting.
You get more excited by ideas rather than external activities.
Social events can take you a long time to recover from, even when you enjoy them.
You articulate best in writing .
You're not fond of small talk.
You often feel judged by others.
You can appear aloof.
You notice things which give you a unique perspective. (Evidently the majority of scientists, inventors, artists and writers are introverts.)
You are a great listener.
You are more independent than others.
If you relate to these things I think it's time to embrace your uniqueness. You are not a weirdo! You are a quiet, sensitive, reflective soul who loves nature, peace, quiet and books. You do like your fair share of fun and outings. Know yourself, tune in to your needs and be gentle with your beautiful introverted self.
Wishing you energising alone time
Image by Anthony Tran
The peace of being alone calls me often. I am a mother to a 12 yo boy who is life learning (meaning no school), I have a partner who loves being home, I see clients, I teach and I work on social media. I go to the supermarket too many times, run car loads of boys to random places and lately I've been visiting the panel beater regularly (for weeks) chasing up an insurance claim. I seem to always be talking to receptionists and telephone 'support' people. My numerous healers are also in the mix. After a friendly catch up my hairdresser knows the drill, Dawn needs some quiet time.
I guess your life is similar. When do we get to be alone? Like really alone, the no checking the phone and making calls kind of alone. Taking time to be with yourself with no one else to engage with can be a powerful healing experience.
Being alone brings you freedom to drop your social persona. There's no one to judge you, no one to impress and no one to aspire to. You can think for yourself without being swayed by others opinions, you can reflect, dream, breathe and come back to yourself.
It's been proven that being alone allows you to develop greater empathy for others, increase your productivity, spark creativity, improve concentration, make plans for your life, increase your happiness and reduce stress and depression. Children also need this powerful healing time.
Alone time is necessary for total wellbeing. I remember hearing once from a wise teacher that everyone needs at least an hour alone every day. How about fitting some solo time into your days and weeks, even if you need to schedule it. Getting up earlier, leaving social media turned off, avoiding email and phone calls sometimes and scheduling time just for you will bring you more of all that good stuff.
You'll reset your system and feel happier. Every time I prioritise this I see immediate benefits. Make time for to hang out with the most important person you know - you.
wishing you peaceful you time
Photo by Frank McKenna
Are there rumblings of change in your world? Do you sense a new life subtlety (or loudly!) calling you? Are you listening or are you using distractions to maintain the way you're used to it being? After all, change will have us humans confronted with an unknown future and our egos sure don't like uncertainty.
We can use staying busy, working, doing shoulds (there's a few of mine for starters!) and all number of things to deny our inner knowing calling us forward. We eat, care take others and keep looking backwards rather than allowing ourselves to step into a new way of being internally and externally.
Being in unfamiliar territory means relinquishing control of the future. As humans surrender is not something that comes easily. It takes some life experience to know that resisting and ignoring change takes us on a bumpy path that may be filled with pain, emotional discomfort, blah feelings, a tiredness of life, clashes and bangs and feelings of disconnection.
I sense a collective energy that is drawing us to come forward out of all that no longer serves us.
Will you give yourself some still moments to hear what your inner voice is drawing you towards?
What do you need to release that no longer serves you?
Would you consider surrender, trust and faith?
To be in those three big energies you need to know there is a greater force at play. You have a spirit in this human body that is part of All That Is or Universal Intelligence. When you truly know that letting yourself go forward into the unknown becomes easier.
When you run your life from ego you think everything is up to you, that you are in control and you need certainty. Nothing in life is certain. Chaos will happen, it's all part of growing and evolving.
Listen to the call of change and allow yourself to let go of the past, you are being called to bring new aspects of yourself forward, to evolve! And that is a wonderful thing. Your spirit is wise and will not let you down. The Universe has your back.
wishing you courage and bravery
Photo by Ye Fung Tchen
Sometimes I feel disconnected spiritually. It happens when I rush my morning practice because of 'things to do'. It happens when I don't get up early enough to journal and greet the day with grace. It happens when I'm projecting my issues onto someone else, when I'm trying to control the future and when I forget to give thanks.
The people who come to work with me are often disconnected spiritually too. They may feel lost, lacking clarity and unable to see the way forward. I support them to come back to their inner knowing as well as to be connected to their spiritual self. This often means arriving in the body for starters. Being grounded is not as common a practise as it needs to be for our well being. I'll write more about that another time. Recovering our spirit/energy/power from the myriad of places we have projected it, understanding why that is and becoming present can take some time.
Once we're in our body we can connect with how we are actually feeling rather than getting into stories with our thoughts about our problems and why they are there. That kind of thinking is a distraction from emotions that want to emerge so we can heal and feel lighter.
When we are aware of how we are doing physically, emotionally and mentally it becomes easier to connect to our spiritual being from a place of awareness.
Feeling disconnected spiritually can look like despair, depression, questioning your self worth, loneliness, emptiness and a lack of meaning in your life. These are signs that your spirit needs some attention, that it's calling, "Be with me, attend to me."
The challenge for each of us is to recognise what we use as an excuse for not setting aside the time to connect on this level. For some it is health, for others time, family commitments or not enough money driving us to keep on pushing.
When we deny our spirit we deny our essential nature. This soul aspect of our being would love to speak to us in cherished moments but because we have become conditioned to think and do it speaks to us through pain, suffering, struggle and fear instead.
Your greatest source of pain comes from denying your spiritual nature. It is important to create a sacred space and make room for this connection. Become aware of your spirit's needs. Ask, what do you need from me? What do you need to share with me? You may need to sit quietly by yourself and journal, or let images and impressions come.
Restore your spirit by feeding it with imagination, passion, beauty, creativity and harmony. Have beautiful things around you. Listen to music. Pray. Journal your gratitude. Meditate. Read spiritual texts. Enjoy nature. Be alone in peace. Connect with animals. You instinctively know what your spirit needs. What is coming to you now as you consider that?
Know the signs that you are disconnected and enjoy the full hearted feeling of reconnecting to your Spirit and coming home to your essential nature.
wishing you many centred spirit moments
Photo by Jonas Vincent
Those of you who know yourself as a lightworker, change maker, awakener or healer have an important role on Earth at this time. You can feel it deep within. It's a mission you wont ignore.
Whether you're talking to individuals, groups or the masses about nutrition, body awareness, love, spirituality, personal growth, conscious parenting, the rising feminine, yoga, planetary healing, conscious business, breathing or healing you are doing Earth changing work. There's a very long list of all the other things you might be doing on this heart felt quest. Regardless of how you are called you know you're on purpose. You are aware our planet needs all aware hands on deck.
Coming out of fear and into Love is what we're really being called towards. We've been holding on to pain for far too long. We've operated from those hurts creating even more bad vibes. Just imagine a planet where everyone communicated from Love. It's what we all long for, right?
Fear still presides for the majority. There are a lot of people disconnected from their authentic self. You have awareness about living more consciously, it's your job to inspire, awaken and heal. This means living your own life more authentically, more of the time.
I used to be all high vibe light and love in my healing practise then back to struggling with addictions, relationship dramas and unconscious self loathing in my personal life. It took years of dedicated personal growth work to begin a more authentic integration.
Even those of us who are conscious a lot of the time will have fear rule now and then. If that's happening often get yourself some support, the planet needs you in Love mode. It needs you on purpose sharing your passion.
We must not forget what we know. When we love ourselves and breathe to a more centred, grounded place when collective or personal fear comes over us we wont get lost for days on end. Being human means ego will take over. The more we become conscious of that fearful voice the less we will succumb to it. Work your energetic boundaries when you're around others who are operating from fear. Negativity can be contagious. Hang out with high vibe people when you can. The more you sparkle the greater your effect on others will be.
You have so much knowledge within. You know what needs to happen and when. Please don't pretend you don't. You might need a hand to remember this truth, if so be guided to the right person. Don't give your power away by asking others for their version of your truth. Our inner knowing is easy access guidance. We all know what we need to heal our bodies and minds. We know what we love to do and we know what we are here to bring to the planet. The Earth needs you. Accept your mission!
wishing you power to change the world
This blog is for those of you who are into doing too much. You probably like to do all of your stuff at the same time too. No surprises that I'm doing that right now, I have just checked my email and the clock which prompted a phone call. Now that's sorted I promise myself I will stay fully present here with you, and with myself. Ah, the pull to do and do is a habit that doesn't really serve us in the long run. Multi tasking is a breeze for us girlies yet we often miss the power that comes from being fully present.
Recently I noticed anxiety happening hours into doing some planning. A wise friend dropped by and noticed I was attempting to organise way too many ideas all at once. I had been deep in multi task mode, making calls, shuffling paper, brainstorming and list making all at once. Her suggestion to diary all these things and work on only 1 at a time was gold wisdom to my frazzled self. Relief! She broke my spell of looking out rather than in.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Doing too much, the kind of too much that brings anxiety, overwhelm, exhaustion (ever had burn out?) headaches, high blood pressure, accidents and forgetfulness can be the result of wanting to be seen for what you accomplish rather than who you are.
This comes from a lack of belief in the truth that you are loveable and wonderful simply for being yourself. Sadly that isn't what most of us were taught. Praise often came for what we did, you would've heard 'good girl' before, right? These messages can be hard wired. They require our aware self to challenge them.
If you're a visionary type there can be a sense of needing to rush to catch up to that vision. This too needs mindfulness. One thing at a time done well will get you there in a more solid way than having your energy scattered.
Here's some points that may help you.
1. Stay connected to your body. Check in now and then. Breathe. Come within for a moment. How are you feeling? Anxiety, overwhelm and even frustration are signs that something is amiss. What needs to change for greater flow and ease?
2. Ground. It can be the most powerful technique to realign yourself. Step outside. Look at a tree, a flower, a bird. Breathe again. Feel the earth.
3. If there actually is a lot to do get out your diary and schedule. One thing at a time.
4. Remind yourself you don't need to prove anything, that's your inner child talking. Imagine bringing her in close and let her know you see her and you love her exactly as she is. If that is hard to do that's a place you need to do some more exploration.
Your job is to be true to yourself, to follow your inner knowing on what you need to do.
5. Delegate where you can. Simplify. It doesn't have to all be up to you.
6. Remember no rush, Divine timing is at play. Just follow your intuition. It's your path, no one else's, despite the lure of what everyone else is achieving.
7. Remember the truth you are perfect just as you. (Which includes all of the flaws of being human.)
We don't want accidents and health issues to be what slows us down to be present. (Or maybe we do? It's all good learning after all) Taking the time to come within and notice what is going on for us can give us a head start on self care.
The journey of returning home to your self is hidden within such things as doing too much.
Wishing you self awareness and ease of doing.
Photo by Matheus Frade
I feel others feelings, I'm easily over stimulated and I like a lot of alone time. I also easily read others, don't like bright lights and can be bothered by noise. I am a highly sensitive person. I'm also an empath. Do you relate to some of this?
Empaths have the ability to perceive the physical, emotional or mental state of other people and animals. This is different to having empathy which means imagining what it might be like for someone else. (which is a great trait to develop!) Empaths literally feel what the other is experiencing. They can also perceive the energy of the natural world.
All empaths are highly sensitive, however, not all HSPs are empaths. Elaine Aaron, author of The Highly Sensitive person says that 20 % of people are highly sensitive. Here's some traits of HSPs and empaths.
Have high sensory awareness.
Feel emotions deeply.
Tend to take things personally.
Notice subtleties and details.
Are sensitive to noise, light and other stimuli.
Can be anxious socially.
Have a sensitive nervous system.
Become over stimulated easily.
Can easily become overwhelmed.
Tend to avoid violent movies.
May feel time pressures keenly.
Need lots of alone time.
Pause before acting.
Tend towards being intellectually gifted.
Are attuned to subtle energy.
70% are introverts.
Feel the pain of others.
Pick up on other's feelings.
Feel calm on their own.
Can't concentrate when others are around.
Can "read" people's energy.
Have trouble watching shows that are disturbing.
Astrologically often have water signs in sensitive placements.
Can be challenged to separate themselves from other people’s emotions.
Have trouble recognising their own feelings.
Can be targets for energy vampires.
Are exhausted by negativity.
Are highly sensitive.
Tend towards introversion.
Are highly intuitive.
Feel revived by nature.
Are sensitive to noise, smells and too much talking.
Can absorb stressful feelings triggering panic attacks, addictions, depression and fatigue.
Here's some tips for how to care for yourself.
Sensitivity is a blessing when it's used in loving service. When you learn about your inherent nature and honour your needs you will find your life is easier and you will feel calmer and happier.
wishing you loving kindness
Judith Orloff. The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People
Elaine Aaron. The Highly Sensitive Person.
Last week I wrote about craziness. Now I'm feeling overfull, it's a kind of progression I guess. Awareness often happens in my Tuesday restorative yoga class as some of you will know. Yesterday when my teacher responded to my query "What is this pose doing?" with "Don't think about it, let it reveal itself" I noticed tears happening. I realised in that moment I had been in continual over think about EVERYTHING, well my world kind of everything at least. Her words felt like guidance from God. You know when simple messages really get in deep?
I'm an over thinker from way back. I was known to wake in the night wondering what I had forgotten to worry about. Thinking too much is really just another addiction, meaning another way we avoid feelings. Feeling emotions brings relief and healing. Simple. (Although we usually need to get comfortable with allowing our self to release big, old emotions without thinking about them.)
I left my yoga class with 'Don't think about it, let it reveal itself' moving gently around my system. I was realising how overfull my head was. I was thinking about Too. Many. Things. So I decided I needed a self imposed brain simplification.
The first thing that I was thinking too much about actually needed me to feel some grief rather than think. So I stayed with it, stopped thinking and cried. 'Revealing itself' would come, it was surrender time. The 2nd thing needed a few phone calls for more information, easy. Number 3 wasn't such a big deal, just taking too much of my time, so I handed that over to relevant parties. 4 needed action so I scheduled it into my diary. 5 needed cancelling. 6 just needed a decision so I made one. And 7 needed me to leave the 2nd lot of the days dishes, laundry and grocery shopping and make a cup of tea and read, challenging and perfect. Later that day I was drawn to find a non thinky comedy movie (not usually my thing) Laughing with my partner was fab over think tonic.
I'm now in a don't analyse, allow reveal kind of zone and I like it.
You might like my current brain simplification recipe -
1. Realise you are overfull. Know your signs. Look for rushing, blaming, inability to meditate, fast talk, body tension and meltdowns.
2. Delegate. Schedule or reschedule. Cancel. Say no. Put thoughts onto paper. Share with a good listener (who doesn't feel a need to fix.)
3. Care for your self. Let yourself feel. Do simple, peaceful grounding things. Thinky thinky usually means we're out of touch with our bodies needs so move, rest, hydrate. Tune in to your body
4. Do fun things. A full brain can be boring. Laughing is healing.
5. Beware of becoming overfull again.
wishing you a peaceful mind
Photo by Ashley Batz
I went crazy the other night. I was angry, blaming in a sweary loud kind of way, crying, victimy and ashamedly apologetic via letters because I felt too crazy to talk. It was all rather confusing and funny in hindsight. I have a compelling habit of trying to understand my emotions rather than feel them. This doesn't make for easy shifts. My deep feelings were trying to push past my intellect and I was resisting.
The sliver of Aware Self that knew I was avoiding my own pain finally sat me still to stop me externalising and let me just feel. I cried and cried without knowing why that was happening. I had a good rest and woke up to a day of recovery for myself which included long walks, deep, restoring yoga and lunch with a wise friend. A shift had happened once the resistance stopped. Insights arrived without any intellectual striving. The big kind of self change was underway.
This kind of craziness is a symptom of the eclipse season that we're currently in. Astrologically they bring the unexpected. Surprises, drama and shake ups occur. Their job is get us to pay attention to areas of our life that need to change. When we're not following our intuition our Higher Self will get us on track in a rapid eclipsy kind of way. It's like The Tower in Tarot, same kind of vibe.
Have you been going crazy too? Self compassion is the healer. Don't resist what wants to shift! Feel and feel without asking why then be your own best mother. If you've had random shake ups or shocks practise self kindness too. I had a car accident this week, I 've just learnt the insurance company have decided it's too much damage to justify fixing. It's an eclipse kind of event that will bring change in it's own way.
How does self compassion and caring for yourself look like to you? After my crazy attack being kind to myself looked like this - taking responsibility and apologising, wrapping myself in cosiness with a hotty and tea, putting myself to bed, getting into nature, a yogic breath practise and some prayer. After doing shock for a few days post car accident self care was letting myself cry and taking a day off work to reconnect to my body again.
Be kind. Don't try to push through. Relax. Feel. Know there's a Higher Purpose at play, you're being guided to evolve and that's exciting.
wishing you loving kindness while the big kind of change is in play
Photo by Marina Khrapov on Unsplash.
I've always known I easily, successfully and efficiently get things done. In fact, I have prided myself on my ability to achieve and tick things off my always large list. (I am one of those list loving Virgo types.)
I've also noticed I like to show off about it to my partner who shows no signs of being as equally thrilled at my ability to do and do as I am. No good girl comes my way and I notice my deflated ego. I can also seek sympathy for how hard I am working, when it doesn't come I can get frustrated and blamey at his lack of understanding. That's a sure sign something is amiss. Blame is all about not taking responsibility.
It's been helpful to recently learn that I connect to external tasks rather than to myself. This, I believe, is an epidemic problem.
Our history often teaches us to please others over ourselves. (Remember the old fashioned "Don't be selfish" ?) This may be in the form of care taking others when we were too young to be doing so or learning that to get attention we must achieve. This inadvertently teaches us not to honour ourselves. Our esteem gets tied up in caring for others and external jobs as the most important things to be doing. We miss our intuition, internal cues and knowing as we focus out rather than in.
I was reminded of this in my Restorative Yoga class yesterday as my teacher puts more attention on invitation and self enquiry rather than telling us what to do. Yoga can often be about achievement too.
Of course we still want to care for others and get stuff done. How do we continue that without losing our Self? I like to bring my awareness in often to check in with how my body, emotions, thoughts and spirit are doing.
In this moment I notice my body has a need to stand at my desk rather than sit.
I notice feelings of wellbeing at writing. (the positive noticings are worth noting too)
I notice thoughts of concern that I'll be interrupted soon. (Do I need to assert some better boundaries around my work time?)
And my spiritual self is requiring a candle and incense to keep the vibe high.
These are all things I could easily have missed as I race through my To do list.
Are you important to yourself might be a question you want to ask.
How do you know you're important? What does it mean to be important?
How will you listen and act on what you need?
Photo by Nikita Kachanovsky on Unsplash