Familiar with any of these scenarios?
You say yes because it's easier than saying no.
You begrudgingly do things for others that you really don't want to do.
Someone is shouting at you, you're feeling confused and somewhat 'out of it' as you attempt to understand them.
You keep trying to be heard despite the other saying they can't listen anymore.
These are all indications that your boundaries need some work. Don't worry though, we all have varying degrees of boundary issues due to the modelling we've seen and the way others invaded our bodies, minds or spirit when we were children.
If you have healthy boundaries other peoples words, emotions and energy will not affect you in a way that is harmful or tiring. If you continue to let people hurt or drain you your wellness is compromised.
Boundaries are actually invisible and symbolic 'fences' that protect us from being hurt, or hurting others, physically or psychologically. They also give us a way to
embody our sense of who we are.
Our external boundary allows us to choose our distance from other people and enables us to give or refuse permission for them to touch us.
Our internal boundary protects our thinking, feelings, and behaviour and keeps them functional.
The following boundary statements are helpful to remember.
What other people say and do is more about them and their history than it is about you.
What you say and do is more about you and your history than it is about the other.
Boundaries are something we need to work on our whole lives. It becomes increasingly easier with maturity, practise and healthy self esteem.
Self esteem rises as you integrate unconscious aspects of yourself, make peace with your history, consciously practise loving behaviour towards yourself as well as have compassion for the wounded child within.
I believe boundaries are the answer to the majority of relationship issues we have.
Here's some steps to practise -
Take the time to hear your inner voice about what is and isn't ok for you.
Practise communicating your truth in a healthy way.
If others reactions are too much for you, work a boundary and move yourself away from them.
Listen when someone clearly states they need space.
Prepare yourself energetically before interacting with someone you know can be invasive. If it doesn't feel good change the subject or graciously end the interaction.
Practise honoring your own needs.
wishing you clear and loving boundaries
Image by Rihaij on Pixabay
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