We come into this human package as wise souls on a mission to learn, grow and serve. Our life-plan WILL include trauma. Trauma isn’t always the obvious. Depending on our sensitivity levels and our past experiences we will have varying degrees of distress and dissociation due to an array of experiences. An ice cream falling off its cone when you’re 4yo could bring sadness, anger, shame, shock or something else – depending on the person, players and scenario.
Everything that happens to us is part of our plan. On a soul level we want the difficult stuff – the feelings of loneliness, the parents who weren’t present, the bullying, the addictions etc. so we can learn about self-love and acceptance, as well as develop compassion for others via our own experiences. There are opportunities to grow from everything that happens to us.
Our past shapes how we function in the world today. When we have made peace with our past challenges, we experience greater happiness, easier relating, more success and greater freedom in our lives. Lessons are being learnt!
Knowing, from a spiritual perspective, that we are in an earth play doesn’t heal our history. It certainly helps our mental understanding yet it doesn’t heal the physical or emotional body. It also doesn’t ‘fix’ rigid beliefs we’ve taken on in the name of protection.
To truly heal we must allow ourselves to feel our suppressed emotions, to make peace with the feeling of shame that tells us there is something wrong with or very nature and we must forgive ourselves and others. These are the lessons our spirits want to learn. Spiritual savvy is a must for real healing. Without faith in Divine Intelligence it’s hard to forgive some stuff. If you don’t already, consider the idea that there's a greater intelligence than your own.
Here are some ways we can tell that we haven’t made peace with old hurts:
If you’re feeling stuck with any of the above consider going deeper to discover what isn’t conscious that might be holding you back. Our traumas need our loving attention so we can release:
Bringing harmony to discordancy will always affect us in positive ways. Loving our traumatised younger self is profound in how it changes our lives. Relationships become easier, we attract greater successes, we are more creative and we become healthier on every level.
Listen to your inner knowing, hear your spiritual guidance, seek out wise and experienced healers/friends/therapists, dialogue with younger aspects of yourself, journal and pray for help. There is so much seen and unseen support for us to grow, evolve and learn to truly love ourselves.
Wishing you peace
Image by Nine Köpfer
Knowing what we are feeling has the power to change our lives in wonderful ways. When we can stay present with an emotion by breathing into it a number of things can occur:
1. It has an opportunity to move. Emotion is energy that is too often trapped in our bodies because of our lack of experience in knowing and trusting that expressing emotion in a safe way is healing. When it is stuck in our body it creates density where life-force energy doesn’t flow. Over time this creates minor and major physical issues within our body. It can also bring about depression (an over-thinking dis-ease) blame, being addictive, judging others, self-harm and anxiety.
2. We may get images or impressions of a past event where that emotion originated. This shows us what we have not yet made peace with. I see this as precious information that allows us to know more about ourselves, as well as human nature. It can be an in road into a healing journey.
3. The emotion we are feeling may dissolve as it moves, allowing us to access a ‘hidden’ emotion – that which is underneath the surface feeling. For instance – I know that when I sit with my anger it can quickly shift as I access the more vulnerable feeling of sadness.
4. The emotion will often dissolve completely as we stay with it.
5. We connect with our authentic self.
It sounds simple to stay still and breathe into an emotion yet it’s not what the majority of people are doing. It’s much more common to stay with our thoughts rather than feel our feelings. Generally speaking, this is what we were taught to do. Our intellect was praised and our emotions were frowned upon. When I ask someone how they’re feeling I usually hear what they’re thinking – even with supposed self-aware people. I too can struggle to know what I’m feeling.
Even without taking the time to be present and breathe into our emotions we can be with simply knowing what we feel. This, in itself, can often settle us down into our body – away from our busy mind. From a place of knowing what we are feeling we can then make choices about how we care for ourselves. When we access our internal mother, we are practising self-love – a highly healing act.
Take the time to stop thinking so much and breathe into where you notice uncomfortable feelings – they are often your emotions wanting to be released. See if you cane name them. Be present and notice what happens.
Wishing you emotional intelligence.
Image by Sharon McCutcheon
I believe we all have varying degrees of trauma. There are no perfect childhoods. Our care givers did things the only way they knew how to at the time. Their actions were based on their own history. Being human means we make mistakes and can operate unconsciously from ego, fear and conditioning. As adults our intellect can make sense of that yet understanding trauma does not heal it.
The spiritual truth that we create our lives to learn the lessons we are drawn to work on doesn't heal trauma either. It too helps us understand yet fear and deep emotion are still trapped in our physical cells causing us an array of issues.
The way we internalise events varies depending on our sensitivities and circumstances. The bottles of paint I accidentally knocked down creating a major colourful mess while helping a teacher when I was 7 is not what many would perceive as traumatic yet I was overwhelmed with emotion I didn't know how to cope with. Those less sensitive or more emotionally intelligent may have laughed and rolled with it. That experience certainly wasn't life threatening like other traumatic situations I was involved in yet it did bring about some internalised shame.
Trauma has been defined as the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one's ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. I have been working on deactivating my own wound up, deeply buried inner turmoil for many years so I have come to know the nature of trauma well.
Lately I've noticed that others are having spontaneous trauma memories appearing. It seems we are collectively ready to handle the truth of our past so we can make peace with it for a healthier, happier life.
Unhealed trauma creates –
There's more I could add to that list but you get the idea. Trauma is affecting our lives adversely and stopping us from living to our full potential.
Here's what needs to happen for healing to come about –
Trust what is occurring. Don't be annoyed that there is more to heal. Healing is a long, long journey. It isn't a few workshops and sessions, nor is it one big purge and it's all done. We have a lot to make peace with. Go gently and kindly. Life is a play; the game gets easier as we make room for more light in our body. Be brave and loving.
Wishing you gentleness on your healing journey
Image by Alexas_Fotos on Pixabay
I recently experienced a new memory from a long ago incident. It was the sudden and shocking type of recollection that requires time to process. I spent the week thinking, feeling, regressing, trying to not to analyse, feeling some more and gradually integrating this once buried wound.
During that week I was teaching healers how to support their clients by working with the wounded inner child. How perfect for me! They too experienced new memories, and, like myself, they were too young to recall it all and had no witnesses. The few days that followed had me encountering 3 others that also realised a partial disturbing memory.
Healers have always been called to make peace with themselves and their history. With their wisdom, experience and maturity they can now go even deeper. It takes courage and divine timing to be ready for aspects of trauma to come forward in a way that isn't intellectual. Buried feelings like shame and terror need strong holding from a support person or one's own compassionate adult self. When we are stuck in a child like memory it can be scary and ungrounding.
If you too have been triggered somehow into a past memory know this is a good thing. Your system is wanting to heal. Our nerves and tissue hold trauma, our pain and tension is usually based in unexpressed emotions from long ago.
When your higher self knows you are ready to finally process something old then memories will come. When they arrive in a way where you are feeling it physically, emotionally and energetically it can be surprising and confusing, especially when you have no recollection of the event. Don't let your bossy mind try to analyse it, it will stop you feeling and prolong the healing. I know the wanting to understand it thing, it's an easy default. Thinking isn't healing though, it blocks emotions like anger, sadness and grief.
Have the courage to feel painful emotions and be patient. Despite what you think or are told you don't need to know the whole story, regardless of how much your mind wants to understand it. Having no witnesses for past trauma can be frustrating and perplexing, yet if you are meant to know more the images and information will be come in the right time. Trust what is happening on a non intellectual level. You ARE healing.
As we release the hold on old emotions and thought patterns that no longer serve us we become more authentic, and that means a happier, easier life.
Tips for this kind of experience -
Wishing you kindness
Photo by Yousef Espanioly
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