Here's an inspiring quote from a fave teacher of mine, Edward Bach that's been on my wall for years. Edward was a doctor, homeopath and spiritual writer as well as the founder of the Bach Flower Remedies back in the early 1900's. This quote is from 1931.
"Our object in life is to follow the dictates of our Higher Self, undeterred by the influence of others. This can only be achieved if we gently go our own way - at the same time never interfere with the personality of another."
I love this wisdom. If only we all did this, all of the time! What a different world it would be. I want to break down the guidance in this helpful quote.
Wise Bit 1 -
"Our object in life is to follow the dictates of our Higher Self, undeterred by the influence of others.''
I think it's quite a skill to listen to our own inner wisdom and not be distracted by what everyone else is saying and doing. When we allow our egos, rather than our Higher Self (the wise, spiritual aspect of our being) to take control we compare ourselves to others, want what others have, think we aren't doing it right, believe we're not good enough and suffer from all manner of fearful thoughts and frustrations.
Wise Bit 2 -
"...if we gently go our own way..."
What simple, clear guidance. No rushing, no pushing, no someone else's way. Gently is such a peaceful, out breath kind of word; I feel calm just thinking about gently going my own way.
Wise Bit 3 -
"...never interfere with the personality of another."
This is all about boundaries. It makes me think of 'mind your own business' - a classic effective boundary statement. We do get quite invasive with those close to us in particular. We need to remember everyone has their own path, your way is not necessarily the right way for someone else. We can be there for others when they ask for support or help, but interfering and giving advice is control, not love.
I hope you find this quote from nearly 90 years ago helpful, I know I do.
Image by Imagine_Images on Pixabay
I was listening to a podcast yesterday, the host was discussing the reason she was making it her last show. The regular gig of continually recording batches of episodes was feeling like an effort that was deenergising her. Despite loving her work she wasn't feeling in alignment with this particular aspect of it anymore.
It got me thinking about what it takes to stay in alignment with one's self, especially when we are running our own businesses. It's certainly easy to do 'shoulds', based on the norm or what others are doing.
Staying true to our self can be a challenge, especially when we have instant access to those that we think are more successful than us. Comparisonitis only makes us feel bad for not being or doing more. It has nothing to do with alignment.
I am good at being productive and getting the task done, I can easily push myself through difficult jobs and keep going. In fact, in the past I've been surprised to find myself burnt out a few times. Months of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual recovery is an interesting learning experience. Now that I know all about that I'd much rather do alignment than burn out. It would save money, time, adrenal fatigue, numerous emotions and mental processing. Maybe you resonate?
Here's some handy symptoms to help you know where you're at.
You're Out of Alignment if :
Feeling tired or drained.
Blaming or judging (It's an unhealthy way of getting power)
You're stuck in habits that don't serve you.
You're over analysing.
You're pushing yourself to do more.
You're feeling frustrated.
You're in Alignment when:
You feel on purpose.
You're able to hear your intuition.
You feel happy and sometimes even joyful.
You have a sense of being grounded in your body.
You enjoy what you're doing.
There is ease and flow.
You are not attached to outcomes.
You feel appreciation.
When we're in the process of coming into alignment the first thing we need to do is connect to our body. It's from this grounded place that we know what our needs are. Rest, food or care of some sort is hard to know when we're disconnected due to too much doing or thinking.
It's from a body centred place that we're able to hear our inner knowing. When we're over thinking there's no room for the quiet voice of intuition. This wise inner counsel will guide us to our next steps.
We may feel sad when we realise we've been out of alignment for too long. Recovery catch up is needed, some chill time where our mind is free to relax. Play, rest, nature, movement and care will help us realign to self.
There really is no rush. Flow and ease comes from our natural aligned state. Look out for signs of being out of alignment and kindly come back to yourself.
It's a beautiful way to live.
wishing you alignment
Image by Becca Tapert
I've always known I easily, successfully and efficiently get things done. In fact, I have prided myself on my ability to achieve and tick things off my always large list. (I am one of those list loving Virgo types.)
I've also noticed I like to show off about it to my partner who shows no signs of being as equally thrilled at my ability to do and do as I am. No good girl comes my way and I notice my deflated ego. I can also seek sympathy for how hard I am working, when it doesn't come I can get frustrated and blamey at his lack of understanding. That's a sure sign something is amiss. Blame is all about not taking responsibility.
It's been helpful to recently learn that I connect to external tasks rather than to myself. This, I believe, is an epidemic problem.
Our history often teaches us to please others over ourselves. (Remember the old fashioned "Don't be selfish" ?) This may be in the form of care taking others when we were too young to be doing so or learning that to get attention we must achieve. This inadvertently teaches us not to honour ourselves. Our esteem gets tied up in caring for others and external jobs as the most important things to be doing. We miss our intuition, internal cues and knowing as we focus out rather than in.
I was reminded of this in my Restorative Yoga class yesterday as my teacher puts more attention on invitation and self enquiry rather than telling us what to do. Yoga can often be about achievement too.
Of course we still want to care for others and get stuff done. How do we continue that without losing our Self? I like to bring my awareness in often to check in with how my body, emotions, thoughts and spirit are doing.
In this moment I notice my body has a need to stand at my desk rather than sit.
I notice feelings of wellbeing at writing. (the positive noticings are worth noting too)
I notice thoughts of concern that I'll be interrupted soon. (Do I need to assert some better boundaries around my work time?)
And my spiritual self is requiring a candle and incense to keep the vibe high.
These are all things I could easily have missed as I race through my To do list.
Are you important to yourself might be a question you want to ask.
How do you know you're important? What does it mean to be important?
How will you listen and act on what you need?
Photo by Nikita Kachanovsky on Unsplash