I've been thinking about marriage this week. My partner and I just celebrated 12 years of it this week. Here's what I posted on Facebook that day.
I highly recommend marriage, and not leaving when it gets too hard.
The safe container that it provides is precious for deep journeying together.
If you are courageous enough to be truly honest, to own your fears and to allow your old suppressed hurts to release it is a magical journey that will bring vulnerability, that beautiful feeling that deepens intimacy.
When the challenging stuff happens, as it does, we have an opportunity to go deeper. Living with someone you love will bring your unhealed issues to the surface whether you like it or not. You might think it's all about the way he tells you he doesn't feel cared for in the guise of blame. And on one level it is. It would be healthier if he learnt to own his stuff, "When you are working as much as you are lately I don't feel cared for."
When your feelings are bigger than what's happening in front of you however it's a sign there are some old emotions coming forward, some memories being triggered.
You may be aware of this or you may need support to explore what's happening so you can process it, especially when you get into repetitive arguments.
When we share our deeper fears we become vulnerable. The softness this brings allows our partners to feel closer to us. Real intimacy can happen from this special place.
I'm a fan of the anniversary of the day, 6 years earlier when my partner and I became a couple. I knew something magical and powerful was happening. A shared soul journey was underway.
Its been the hardest relationship I have ever had because it truly is a soul partnership meaning via this commitment I have gone deeper in my healing than I have ever done before. Our love has deepened over these 18 years due to us both being committed to love and self growth.
I wish this for you and your loved one too.
Kia kaha committed relationships!