Here’s a sex reminder – it’s good for you.

I’m sure you have your own list of why that is – or even a list of why it isn’t, which I would totally empathise with – sex wasn’t always good for me either.
I’ll tell you why it wasn’t, then I’ll tell why it is.

I’ve had a colourful sex life that began way too young. I might share more about that another time – for the purpose of healing, as always. And in this case, I’m imagining, some bonus entertainment.

Sex wasn’t always good for me in the past for these reasons:

• I used it as a way to avoid painful feelings – the high of sexual conquest gave me some pseudo power and the illusion I was a sex goddess (which I may well be anyway – insert a serious face emoji and a crying with laughter one.) This high was always short-lived so I needed other ‘fixes’ to keep that pain down. Enter alcohol, drugs, eating, work and shopping – all things that brought other concerning issues.

 

• I had sex confused with love which resulted in many despairing scenarios.

 

•  I didn’t know how to say no without feeling distraught at upsetting someone else, or losing what I thought was love (it was really attention, or energy – same thing) so I allowed myself to be hurt during sex. Hurt emotionally, mentally and physically. Probably spiritually too, as that sort of behaviour is soul destroying.

 

•  I was overly focussed on others pleasure thereby missing out on learning more about how my own body was feeling – this equates to being ungrounded.I was not conscious of any of that however, so I thought sex was good (and a lot of the time it actually was fun, experimental and adventurous despite being heavily laced with the above points)

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Now that I am decades older with years of therapeutic and self-healing under my belt (yep, extensive healing in those lower 3 chakras) as well as being in a long-term committed partnership I am pleased to say I have come a very long way from those days that began in my teens and waned through my thirties.

Here’s why sex (the conscious kind) is good for you:

• It is healing. Sex can, and does, trigger old sexual wounds (think physical, emotional or mental) stored in our body tissue. If you feel safe to be psychologically vulnerable (I really hope you do) and you stay present, you can release long-stored sexual grief, sadness, anger and shame – by feeling the emotion. It’s ok for some sex to be the crying kind.

 

• You get to play and have fun, that’s if you’re in the mood for that flavour of sex (there are many varieties of sexual ‘moods’ that are worth honouring).

 

• Loving touch creates feelings of safety and trust.

 

• Feel good endorphins as well as the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin are released – this means warm fuzzys afterwards that make you feel deliciously connected to your partner.

 

• You get to enjoy the buzzy high from the dopamine that floods your brain during orgasm. A bit of euphoria can be a spiritual experience.

 

• You get connected with your body. We spend so much time in our busy minds. Sex will ground you.

 

• Health benefits! Think lowered blood pressure, headache relief, boosts to your immune system, pain decreasing, heart attack risk being lowered, sleep improving and your stress being relieved.

I know in a busy life there doesn’t always seem to be the time for all sorts of things that are good for us. I think we must prioritise sex. It’s a human need that is good for us in so many wonderful ways. Go forth and have fun! Or lots of tears, or something else that feels just right in a sexual kind of way.

Ps. You don’t even need a partner to receive a lot of these benefits. Just be loving, kind and connected to yourself and stay with any psychological issues that come forward for healing (it’s common to have wounds around self-pleasure.)

Wishing you luscious love

with light
Dawn
 
Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash
 
 
 
 
 
 

You know you’re a multidimensional being but I just wanted to bring it the foreground. What this means is that you have interconnected bodies that vibrate at different frequencies and coexist within your energy field or aura.

There is your physical self, which is obvious, although we are not as connected to this body as we like to think – a topic for another time. We also have an emotional body, a mental body and varying layers of spiritual bodies.

I have found it helpful to check in with all of these ‘bodies’ – to get a ‘Personal Weather Report’ as my yoga teacher calls it. It’s a simple and important practice that I personally find fascinating.

Our busy mind can have us detached from what is happening with our body, emotions and spirit. When we ignore these levels of our being we are ignoring our Self. It can also mean dis-ease is going unnoticed until it is loud.

See what you notice as you try this now –

Sit quietly.
Take your breath and awareness to your physical body.
Notice how your body is feeling.

Now take your breath and awareness to your emotional body.
How are you feeling emotionally?
This is a little more elusive yet with focus and practise you will get to know your emotions.

Now take your attention to the quality of your thinking – to your mental body.

You might also like to breathe your focus to your spiritual self. What do you notice on that more refined level?

You are checking in with your whole self, in this moment. When you are aware of this information you can make choices to accommodate what you have discovered, or to simply be aware of how you are, holistically, in this moment.

Maybe your body feels tired and needs rest, or maybe it feels out of alignment and needs some postural adjustments. It might feel vibrant and want movement.

Emotionally you might discover anger, peace, guilt or something else. You might choose to explore that more and care for yourself appropriately. 
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Mentally you may notice that you’re obsessing on one theme, lingering in the past or jumping to the future. It’s all helpful information to know yourself better and be accepting of who you are, right now.
 
Wishing you multidimensional wellness!

with light
Dawn

Image by Pexels on Pixabay

Knowing what we are feeling has the power to change our lives in wonderful ways. When we can stay present with an emotion by breathing into it a number of things can occur:

  1. It has an opportunity to move. Emotion is energy that is too often trapped in our bodies because of our lack of experience in knowing and trusting that expressing emotion in a safe way is healing. When it is stuck in our body it creates density where life-force energy doesn’t flow. Over time this creates minor and major physical issues within our body. It can also bring about depression (an over-thinking dis-ease) blame, being addictive, judging others, self-harm and anxiety. 

  2. We may get images or impressions of a past event where that emotion originated. This shows us what we have not yet made peace with. I see this as precious information that allows us to know more about ourselves, as well as human nature. It can be an in road into a healing journey. 

  3. The emotion we are feeling may dissolve as it moves, allowing us to access a ‘hidden’ emotion – that which is underneath the surface feeling. For        instance – I know that when I sit with my anger it can quickly shift as I access the more vulnerable feeling of sadness. 

  4. The emotion will often dissolve completely as we stay with it. 

  5. We connect with our authentic self.  

It sounds simple to stay still and breathe into an emotion yet it’s not what the majority of people are doing. It’s much more common to stay with our thoughts rather than feel our feelings. Generally speaking, this is what we were taught to do. Our intellect was praised and our emotions were frowned upon. When I ask someone how they’re feeling I usually hear what they’re thinking – even with supposed self-aware people. I too can struggle to know what I’m feeling.

Even without taking the time to be present and breathe into our emotions we can be with simply knowing what we feel. This, in itself, can often settle us down into our body – away from our busy mind. From a place of knowing what we are feeling we can then make choices about how we care for ourselves. When we access our internal mother, we are practising self-love – a highly healing act.

Take the time to stop thinking so much and breathe into where you notice uncomfortable feelings – they are often your emotions wanting to be released. See if you cane name them. Be present and notice what happens.

Wishing you emotional intelligence.

With light
Dawn

Image by Sharon McCutcheon