Been triggered lately? It’s a word that I’m hearing often – it’s being used to mean bothered, yet what it really means, in the psychological sense, is to have old traumas activated. It's happening to us all. I had a triggering experience that knocked me around for the best part of 2 days just recently. It's a very old sticky wound that has some deeply embedded fear attached to it. It requires a lot of presence as well as some gentle loving  behaviour towards myself. 

We usually believe being ‘stirred up’ is all about what’s happening in front of us. We don’t know that we’re overreacting (a classic sign of an old wound being touched). We might be left feeling anxious, upset, angry, guilty or shamed. Our thoughts might become judgmental and blamey – about the other or about ourselves.

If we’re brave enough to bring our attention back to our body and stay with what we are feeling we can notice what is below feelings like anger or anxiety. It is likely there is some deep sadness below the surface. This is old emotion that hasn’t been felt – trapped emotional energy that wants to release. If you allow yourself to feel it without judging yourself or someone else, you will be able to let go of heavy energy in your body – energy that may have been manifesting as long term, chronic pain. This is the benefit of being triggered. You have met a soulmate – someone who you have a spiritual contract with in order to help you grow and heal. You can thank them later for showing you more about yourself.

If you’re not aware of needing to be mindful (acting on an old default setting) being triggered can mean these sort of things happen:

• Blaming and/or judging (that makes us feel ‘better than’ and gives us some temporary pseudo power).
• Self-medicating with drugs, caffeine, sugar, carbs, alcohol – substances to ease anxiety.
• Fighting/arguing.
• Complaining to someone who will listen. (it’s another way we get power back from those who listen to us.) This is different to being supported and exploring your actions with someone who supports you to reflect.
• Being addictive in other ways to avoid the anxious feeling – excess work, cleaning, exercise, shopping, internet and the endless list of things we use to avoid our feelings.

If you are being conscious this is what could happen:

• You breathe and bring your energy back to yourself.
• You notice what you are feeling.
• You allow the feelings to flow.
• You are gentle and kind with yourself because you know an old trauma is being activated.
• You give yourself the love and support you didn’t get as a child at that time. That might look like tea and blankets, rest, being with your animals, journaling, connecting with your inner child via writing or visualization or something else.  If you need support it may be sharing with a wise friend or therapist.

Reparenting ourselves means we need better boundaries and a good connection to what we need at a given time.
I wish you conscious awareness and self-compassion when you are triggered.

with light
Dawn


​Image by Mikhail Vasilyev

 
The dis-ease of blame is rampant in our world. It starts wars and it ends marriages. We're angry with strangers and we yell at our children. Even within our spiritual, self-aware communities blame is often a regular act. I'm a culprit myself.

It's easy to run mindlessly with a mental habit than to do the harder work of discovering what's really going on for one's self. When I'm feeling anxious is a classic time for me to blame. It's an unconscious attempt to get some kind of control. I'd like to see more general awareness around this damaging and destructive force as well as greater personal mindfulness for us all. If we all stopped blaming there would be a huge collective out breath of relief.
 
In it's less destructive form it's tiring for both parties and brings tension to our minds and bodies. Emotionally it can trigger the wounded inner child who had someone else's rubbish dumped on her. At it's worst it leads us on a downward spiral that can end in abuse, addictions and depression.
 
Here's 5 truths about blame.
 
1. It's an outward expression of your own bad feeling and pain.
 
2. It will make others feel bad. They're left with your dense energy all over them. It can make them defensive too, that means an argument has probably begun.
 
3. Blame is an ego defense to protect our wounded self, a self that is vulnerable and scared.
 
4. When we blame another we are inadvertently saying we cannot or will not see clearly.
 
5. To blame means to not take responsibility for yourself.
 
Be mindful of your behaviour and your words. Pause, breathe and notice what's happening for you before you mindlessly blame. Choose not to give energy to hurting your self and others with this destructive energy. It will change your life in all the best ways.
 
wishing you a mindful week
 
with light
Dawn


Photo by Bohdan Komarivskyi on Unsplash