When I think about doing and being I feel the chasm between the two. That makes sense when one heavily outweighs the other. I’m currently resting on my bed with two furry felines, magazines (New Dawn and Natural Medicine if you were wondering), journals and my laptop. I’m on a self-dictated Rest Alone Day.
I love to work – my work is so interesting, rewarding and fun! Yet I can also easily do too much of it, along with over-doing general busyness. When that occurs at the same time as back to travel, unravelling new layers of old trauma, some banging into my dear partner (for even more self-discovery of course!), parenting a teen, renegade chickens and coming down with an intense virus it’s time to put the brakes on. And here’s a thing – when I was getting a service on my car about a month ago my mechanic shared that my brakes wouldn’t last the week – they were down to the metal. There was my message.
At some faraway point in my younger years I became a ‘doer’. I thrived on the recognition (energy) that came my way when I was noticed for my writing, accuracy or being ‘good’. Teachers and bosses rewarding me gave me the pseudo-power I craved. That was short-lived, so I had to keep doing and doing. And doing. I knew no other way to feel ok about myself. Well, that’s not true actually – I knew how to be the perfect girlfriend, yet it was all externally focused. I stayed in my head or with the job or the ‘other’, avoiding myself as much as I was unconsciously capable of. My ‘being’ time happened quickly and easily with drugs, sex, food and alcohol. No more work, no more thinking – a relaxing presence, or so I thought. They work until they don’t and their accompanying side issues became a more obvious problem.
Being is a skill I have been quietly relearning over the years thanks to yogic breathing, journaling, nature, parenting and restorative yoga. I still notice the habit of keeping an outwardly focused pace up, disconnecting me from my sense of grounding. I then miss my quiet inner voice telling me what will bring harmony. That's when the louder signs kick in, like my virus letting me know I'd passed my internal stop sign.
Rest, self-parenting and being while I am doing like the yogis do – that’s what I will be practicing on the extended summer break I am gifting myself in one weeks’ time.
Here are some tips you might find helpful:
Regularly check in to see what your physical body is needing before pain or illness demands a more permanent full stop. Is it rest, sleep, water, particular food, vitamins, touch, exercise, fresh air, sunshine, or something else?
Give yourself time to feel your emotions rather than doing to avoid them. That release of pent up energy brings lightness of being.
Witness the quality of your thinking. Scattered, busy minds need soothing. Breathe, become present, slow down. This will bring more being to your doing.
Care for your spirit. Nature, sunshine, beauty, prayer, meditation and gratitude can all help you remember the authentic you that too easily gets forgotten.
Wishing you balance in your being and doing.
Photo by Lenin Estrada on Unsplash
I recently recalled an amazing and powerful inner journey I enjoyed in a group regression a few years back. Prior to our journey the facilitator had us breathing to our pineal gland. This is a practise that activates the third eye chakra, our energy centre connected to expanded inner vision. I feel this was pivotal to my inner experience being so visually clear and emotionally impactful. It’s got me thinking that we need to put some attention on this important little gland to support our inner seeing, knowing, journeying, sleep, dreaming and intuition.
The pineal gland is a pea-sized organ that sits behind and above the pituitary gland in the centre of our brain. It’s bathed in cerebrospinal fluid and has more blood flow than any other body organ. That means there’s a lot of energy vibing up this important little gland. Its most well-known function is producing and secreting the hormone melatonin which regulates our sleep/wake cycles. Melatonin is also great for anti-aging and anti-stress as it suppresses cortisol and is an antioxidant.
Not so well known is that the pineal also manufactures some of the body’s serotonin (serotonin is actually a precursor to melatonin) It’s been said it also secretes the consciousness expanding biochemical DMT. Dr. Rick Strassman, psychiatrist, and author of ‘DMT: The Spirit Molecule’ says DMT facilitates the soul’s movement in and out of the body and is an integral part of the birth and death experience. DMT is taken in synthetic form for hallucinogenic experiences. If we learn how to have a healthy pineal gland more expanded spiritual experiences could occur with naturally occurring DMT.
So how can we achieve an activated happy pineal gland that supports journeying, dreaming, sleeping and inner seeing?
Here’s an extensive list of tips:
I wish you a clear, energised pineal gland so you can have amazing inner journeying experiences, fabulous sleep and a healthy third eye chakra.
I enjoy Mondays. There’s a fresh feel to the beginning of the week that I respond to with enthusiasm. Tuesdays I get stuck into work. I am fond of Wednesdays in a social kind of way. Thursdays are friendly. Fridays I like to kick back a bit. Saturdays I seem to enjoy being out and about, working, chatting, doing. And Sundays are peace days for me.
The days of the week all have their own vibe. I decided to tune in a bit more as well as do a little research and share it with you.
I discovered that the days of the week were named after planets in Hellenistic Astrology (which originated in the 1st century!) Most of the planet names originated from Roman Gods. At some unknown point before the 6th century the Germans changed up some of the names to align with their own gods. That’s where the English words we have today come from, except for Saturday (which is all about Saturn.)
Monday was named after the moon which is all about intuition and emotion. Monday might show you where you are out of balance spiritually and emotionally. If you are feeling balanced then this is a great day to have a meeting with your Higher Self, tuning in will be easier with Monday’s intuitive moon vibes. It’s a day of potential and inspiration. Leave behind the past and attune to your authentic nature. Prepare for Monday with a restful Sunday evening. This is a day that will set the vibe for your week ahead.
Tuesday is ruled by Mars, the planet of action and energy. This is a day to get things done so get clear on your intentions to fully utilise this vibe. There’s drive, passion, and desire with Mars energy, so if all is balanced on the Monday this will be easier to access. Tuesday will have you ready to create with a focused energy.
Wednesday is ruled by Mercury, the planet that’s all about expression and communication. This is a day you may be drawn to chat, meet, connect, and make calls. It’s a great day for clear thinking and planning. Download ideas. Tune in to whether you are aligned with what you really want.
Thursday is ruled by the planet of happy, positive enthusiasm – Jupiter. This vibe supports you to be productive, learn and get things done with more flow. You may naturally be more grateful today. We feel more expansive spiritually and mentally with the Jupiter vibration. It’s a friendly, easy day when you allow it to be.
Friday is ruled by Venus, the love and creativity planet. This means it’s great for connecting with others in a more open way. Tidy up projects and ideas to come back to and enjoy the fun and relaxation of Fridays. Intimate connections can work well on Fridays! With the Venus vibe in the air we can take better care of selves and others. It’s a day for fun and relaxation.
Saturday is ruled by Saturn, the planet of being organised and taking responsibility. It’s a day to catch up, do jobs, get grounded and balanced and get organised for the following week. This day supports drive to take on projects and get things done. Saturdays are great for being productive.
Sunday is sun day! It’s a day for healing, resting, and connecting with your inner self. Soul renewal and tending to your well-being is the vibe for Sundays. Connecting with others is usually more relaxing as we’re more chilled within. Nothing too demanding works best today.
I hope this supports you to utilise the energy for the days of the week to bring you greater harmony, balance, and ease.
With light, on a Tuesday 😊
Image by Calista Tee on Unsplash
If you follow my work you will have heard me talk about the inner child before. If you’ve studied or had personal sessions with me you will know the benefits of connecting with younger aspects of yourself. Here’s a quick overview of inner child work:
Anytime we didn’t get our reality and emotions validated and empathised with as a young person we are likely to have internalised belief patterns and stored emotion that affect us adversely as an adult. Inner child work facilitates us to access these parts of our self via regression, dialogue, imagery or journaling for the purpose of resolving unhealed trauma.
Our wounded inner child needs healthy parenting. Unconsciously we search for that externally. We expect to be mothered or fathered by our partner and we get frustrated when our parents today still can’t meet our needs despite our futile attempts to get the love we need in the way we need it.
Sometimes we can get some positive parenting from our partner but to expect this continually is not healthy in an adult-adult relationship. Relationships with older nurturing friends or therapists can be quite healing for the inner child. If we use these healthy role models as teachers, we can come away with skills to parent ourselves.
When we are mature, we can learn to parent ourselves. This is self-esteem at its finest. Here is a good example from my life this past week:
I came home from teaching advanced regression skills out of town recently. It was a 3-day course with long hours and a lot happening. I had also worked for a week prior to the course. My first day home my energy was high. I spent the day cleaning my home and doing jobs. The second day I noticed in my morning practise that my energy was feeling flat. This is a subtle noticing that I would have once easily missed if I hadn’t been checking in with myself. I sensed I may even get a cold if I wasn’t mindful.
My pattern for decades was to keep going, to miss the subtleties as my focus was on the ‘what next’. This could have me blaming others for not taking care of me as I avoided self-responsibility (which is what blame actually is), arguing, feeling like a victim or being addictive to keep the pace up and would culminate in burnout or illness (which is one way of getting the rest one needs!) My inner child that needed support, rest, acknowledgement or to feel some emotions was being ignored or trampled over in the forward rush to stay away from feelings.
These days I am wiser. I realised I needed a rest. No one was going to say slow down and take care of yourself. I said it to myself. If I had tuned in to a younger me, I would have discovered a young teenage ‘pleaser’ that thrived on the recognition of others for pseudo power – a girl way out of touch with her own needs and emotions.
I took heed. I cancelled my day of ‘do’. I skipped my daily walk and put all work on hold. I needed rest. I set up my oil diffuser with healing oils, gathered books, mags, a journal and a pen. I got the cushions just right and spent the whole day on my couch. I enjoyed a long bath, made nurturing food, made cups of special tea in a special cup and parented myself. An interesting bonus came when my teenage son and my partner were home. They picked up on the vibe and responded in a nurturing way to me.
During my rest time I was able to discover some sad feelings that wanted to move through me. If I had missed this I may have noticed projections of my frustration onto others. It was a nurturing, love myself day that brought my power back as well as lifted my self-esteem another notch. Any time we heed our inner knowing we develop our self-esteem.
I suggest you go within as a regular practise to sense what you need physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Then you can consider how to take care of yourself on these levels. Notice when you are trying to demand care or attention from others. These are ways you can check in to discover that you need to parent yourself.
Here are some self-parenting ideas:
Know you have access to infinite inspiration from your own Higher Self on how to take care of yourself. Tune in, quiet your mind and listen. Be your own best parent and you will see benefits like increased self-esteem, confidence, power and happiness.
Wishing you loving care for your little selves.
Image by Yousef-Espanioly on Unsplash
The time we find our self in is a time of great change on Earth. Our planet has been subjected to the atrocities of greed, ‘power over’ and base desires for a long time. Consider the destruction of nature via mining, fishing, farming, forestry and industry. Think of the pain on all levels that has occurred for the indigenous people of many countries as well as sexual abuse, religious righteousness with it’s resulting traumas and excess consumerism.
When people allow themselves to be pulled into darker or egoic mind states they become capable of all manner of disturbing thoughts and deeds. Not only can this result in shocking events, it creates a field of tension, anxiety and distress that the earth absorbs into her oceans, soil, and air (as if the pollutants and poisons weren’t creating enough damage!) Plants, minerals and animals are also affected by this toxic energy. As humans we are harmed by this fear-based field too. Many sensitives and empaths are well aware of the collective tension that permeates our field when we come close to, see, or consider such atrocities. Our heart hurts for Earth and all who reside on this beautiful planet.
The change that is amplifying is bringing the dark to the light. We are becoming better informed. We can easily see greed, control and lies at play. Our inner knowing senses this as we are guided to truth. That which is not of the light is being exposed. Well-known people are being held accountable for their disturbing secrets; others are scrambling to keep themselves safe. An awakening kind of change is underway.
Now, more than ever before we need to access our light – that part of ourselves that is Divine and Loving. We need to soothe ourselves and Earth with Love. When we focus on Love, we radiate that vibration out into the field around us. This is what lifts the collective field of the planet. Many people radiating Love actually dissolve fear, tension and pain. In fact, I recently saw it only takes 1% of people with a ‘coherent’ field to bring about change for the 99%! That is extraordinary and wonderful!
What we need to do:
Wishing you a Light filled body and an expanded heart.
With loads of Light
Image by Dorata Kudyba
Here in New Zealand we just moved down to Level 3 lockdown. This means we can extend our ‘bubble’ very slightly and go for walks away from our home (but only up to 45km away) We can get takeaways too (tonight!) Going to the beach is now exciting and represents some kind of renewed freedom.
Seeing my husband’s parents for dinner last night was like returning home to spirit. The warmth and care of loving family, a cosy fire and special food was classic soul balm. I experienced surprise tears about the relief of a reconnection and another wave of grief for what I’d lost moving through my system. A warm embrace was so precious! These small changes after such loss are so easy to be grateful for. Hearts are opening in level 3!
The shops are still closed, there’s still queues at supermarkets and people are still wearing masks and giving one another a wide berth. My family therapist husband is still Zooming at home and our 14yo is still doing online school work and gaming with his friends. Yet despite all of that being able to see new landscapes, eat different food in a different place with different loved ones and see the ocean after so long is like a much-needed holiday for the senses. Small joys are grand joys at this time.
I recently commented on a post asking about what changes we could make now we are in Level 3. I have expanded a little on my ‘off the cuff’ reply.
1. Do intelligent research away from mainstream media.
2. Consider the truth that Love heals fear.
3. Get healthier. Don’t put poison in your body.
4. Trust your bodies immune system – it knows how to take care of you.
5. Get well. ‘Normal’ bad health means compromised immunity just like the big dis-eases do.
6. Slow down enough to listen and act on your inner knowing.
7. Walk and cycle as much as we were in Level 4.
8. Prioritise health and connection over money.
9. Grow your own poison free food.
10. Move away from unnecessary travel. Less planes and cruise ships = more peaceful oceans, skies, animals and less pollution via fuel, noise and care-less vibes.
11. Bring on vulnerability. Too much control of one’s emotions is sickening to the body and doesn’t promote healthy connection to one another.
We need greater kindness towards ourselves and each other. We need stronger bodies. We also need to remember that we are powerful beyond measure. We mustn’t give our power (life-force energy/spirit) away to anyone else. Be smart. Trust your heart knowledge.
Wishing you an easeful transition out of lockdown.
Photo by Nadia Jamnik on Unsplash
Settling down into lockdown has been quite a process. In New Zealand we are close to 2 weeks in. It’s taken that long for me to finally slow down. The early drama of it all had me watching mainstream news with a glass of anxiety-settling wine, talking covid19 semi-fulltime, juggling space so our family could all do online calls at once, cooking amazing meals (who else has had their grocery bill sky-rocket?!), cleaning random things, navigating Zoom group events as well as my one on one client sessions, baking and excessive social media. I extended my yoga practise and started walking around my block every morning. Phew. After a week of that I was exhausted!
Finding ourselves in an unusual new normal takes some adjustment. I’m reminded of a meme I related to about it being ok to not be productive during a global pandemic. What does it take for us to slow down and be present? If we can’t do it at this time we certainly will struggle in ‘normal’ (?) life post lockdown.
When we slow right down and ignore the ego-should-voice we are taking our power back from habitual belief patterns and fears that keep us away from our true nature. Keeping busy and productive can come from an aligned place if you have the energy, passion and intuitive-calling. To know if you do you must check in with your body, emotions, thoughts and maybe even your spirit, and that requires presence. Our habits can rule us if we are not self-aware.
We have been given a great opportunity to create a new routine that aligns with our personal needs in current time. I’m still cooking, but it’s only when I’m creatively compelled – my family all got their own dinner last night which was a relief. Binge cleaning has stopped. Extra yoga is staying. I’ve spaced my work out to accommodate the loud calling for rest I was hearing. Walking every morning is staying too. I am not picking up my phone all.the.time anymore. My new normal now includes daily self-kindness check-ins, more alone time and dancing.
What needs adjustment in your lockdown life for your physical body to feel happier? Is it movement or stillness?
Ideas: walking, dancing, yoga, rest, naps, being curled up with blankets, self-massage, baths, vitamins, less alcohol, lying on the earth, deep breathing, bouncing, body-honouring sex, more water, less food, different food.
What does your emotional self need?
Ideas: Hugs (self-hugs too!), video calls with friends or family, breathing, journaling how you feel, being heard (who can hold space to listen to you?) being outside with the trees and flowers, connecting with your animals, to just let feelings flow, essential oils.
What does your mental self need?
Ideas: Less social media, less research/more research, more fiction/more non-fiction, meditation (rest those thoughts!) journaling to unload all that stuff out of your head, lists/less lists, games, intelligent movies/shows or calming/easy tv, new projects/no projects, people on the same wave-length as you to talk to, boundaries with those who are not.
What does your spiritual self need?
Ideas: Nature, spiritual retreat time, cards, candles, prayer, meditation, channeling, journaling, time alone.
I’d love to hear your ideas too.
Wishing you a time of self-connection
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
I'm writing from my desk on day 5 of lockdown in New Zealand. Like many people I know I am enjoying being home with my family, but it did take a few days for my husband and I to get on the same page. We were struggling with habitual defences that were stopping us from accessing deeper feelings that this experience was triggering. Once we worked that out, we were able to cry, connect and support one another.
Shock about life suddenly changing is what many people are still needing to ground down from. Acting and reacting from an ungrounded place makes loving connection difficult. I've noticed people attempting to maintain control via blame and judgement. Rumination and worry are also common right now. When we stop our addictions (the things we use, consume or do to avoid our feelings) and trying to control our self or others we can settle back into our body. From there we can notice how we are actually feeling and, if we are brave enough, allow that emotion expression. Sadness, shock and grief are congruent emotions at such a time. If we allow these feelings to surface we are able to shift into a lighter space. Then we can practise loving kindness towards ourselves and others at this unusual and challenging time.
After a few days of processing shock as well as working out how we can all work online in video calls (sometimes 3 of us at once!) my family began to ease into a new way of life. I’m making yummy healthy food I hadn’t made time for pre-lockdown. I’m cleaning things I hadn’t noticed were dirty and enjoying the results. We’re cosying up as family (with 2 cats) to cry and laugh over Netflix at random times. My yoga practise has expanded, I have time for online courses, I’m walking from home every day and I'm reading and writing. I could happily do all of this for a long time!
It’s not like this for everyone though. I’m aware many people are struggling with financial issues, loneliness, health concerns and fear for our future. Now, more than ever before we must not let fear consume us. We must stay strong in our mind to stay well in our body. Humanity is in this together. As a collective we can create something new together with Love.
For a long time now, collectively, people have bought into fear. Fear of dying, fear of strangers, fear of financial ruin and fear of foreign people taking over our countries to name just a few. Fear is a contagious dis-ease that weakens our energy field (that means it affects your mind and body too!) It lowers our vibration and rocks our stability. When we are weak with fear, we are susceptible to invasion and control. Think bullies, control freaks and viruses.
If we are able to rise above fear ourselves, we can be a light for others. Go beneath anxiety, feel the emotions, stop ruminating, work your boundaries and remember there is a higher plan unfolding and things will change. Our planet is getting a much-needed rest and so are we. Use this time wisely. Rest, read, breathe, really see your family, love big, create and trust the universe really does have your back.
Wishing you strength and wellness on every level.
We come into this human package as wise souls on a mission to learn, grow and serve. Our life-plan WILL include trauma. Trauma isn’t always the obvious. Depending on our sensitivity levels and our past experiences we will have varying degrees of distress and dissociation due to an array of experiences. An ice cream falling off its cone when you’re 4yo could bring sadness, anger, shame, shock or something else – depending on the person, players and scenario.
Everything that happens to us is part of our plan. On a soul level we want the difficult stuff – the feelings of loneliness, the parents who weren’t present, the bullying, the addictions etc. so we can learn about self-love and acceptance, as well as develop compassion for others via our own experiences. There are opportunities to grow from everything that happens to us.
Our past shapes how we function in the world today. When we have made peace with our past challenges, we experience greater happiness, easier relating, more success and greater freedom in our lives. Lessons are being learnt!
Knowing, from a spiritual perspective, that we are in an earth play doesn’t heal our history. It certainly helps our mental understanding yet it doesn’t heal the physical or emotional body. It also doesn’t ‘fix’ rigid beliefs we’ve taken on in the name of protection.
To truly heal we must allow ourselves to feel our suppressed emotions, to make peace with the feeling of shame that tells us there is something wrong with or very nature and we must forgive ourselves and others. These are the lessons our spirits want to learn. Spiritual savvy is a must for real healing. Without faith in Divine Intelligence it’s hard to forgive some stuff. If you don’t already, consider the idea that there's a greater intelligence than your own.
Here are some ways we can tell that we haven’t made peace with old hurts:
If you’re feeling stuck with any of the above consider going deeper to discover what isn’t conscious that might be holding you back. Our traumas need our loving attention so we can release:
Bringing harmony to discordancy will always affect us in positive ways. Loving our traumatised younger self is profound in how it changes our lives. Relationships become easier, we attract greater successes, we are more creative and we become healthier on every level.
Listen to your inner knowing, hear your spiritual guidance, seek out wise and experienced healers/friends/therapists, dialogue with younger aspects of yourself, journal and pray for help. There is so much seen and unseen support for us to grow, evolve and learn to truly love ourselves.
Wishing you peace
Image by Nine Köpfer
I am a recovering Good Girl. When I was young I learnt to be quiet when I was told to be, I did all my jobs, I got excellent grades, I didn’t complain, I didn’t get angry and I didn’t break the rules (although I did go on to break a lot of rules – with a lot of attitude – in my developing quest for autonomy.)
That way of operating rolled into my adult years. I was a good girlfriend, a good worker and a good friend. I kept making top grades in my further studies and I strived to do everything ‘right’. It was coupled with rebellion, meaning life did become somewhat polarised. I was playing 2 sides of extremes. Drugs and alcohol were a welcome relaxing relief from the pressures I put on myself to be ‘good’.
I was great at doing everything for everyone. I thrived on the approval of others. It can be an addictive kind of thing when one doesn’t do self-approval.
Over the years my game began to unravel. I pushed addiction, only to realise some damaging repercussions – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I also experienced burnout a number of times from constant focus outside of myself whilst I did ‘allthethings’.
Here are what I believe the dangers of being a Good Girl are:
How do we break this pattern? It requires some exploration of where this habit/addiction originated. It may need some inner child work, some acceptance of your challenging history, some reparenting, learning about boundaries and some genuine self-love and care. For now, what is resonating? What might you do to change these patterns?
Wishing you self-love – the kind that sits in your cells.
Photo by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash
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