Familiar with any of these scenarios?
You say yes because it's easier than saying no.
You begrudgingly do things for others that you really don't want to do.
Someone is shouting at you, you're feeling confused and somewhat 'out of it' as you attempt to understand them.
You keep trying to be heard despite the other saying they can't listen anymore.
These are all indications that your boundaries need some work. Don't worry though, we all have varying degrees of boundary issues due to the modelling we've seen and the way others invaded our bodies, minds or spirit when we were children.
If you have healthy boundaries other peoples words, emotions and energy will not affect you in a way that is harmful or tiring. If you continue to let people hurt or drain you your wellness is compromised.
Boundaries are actually invisible and symbolic 'fences' that protect us from being hurt, or hurting others, physically or psychologically. They also give us a way to
embody our sense of who we are.
Our external boundary allows us to choose our distance from other people and enables us to give or refuse permission for them to touch us.
Our internal boundary protects our thinking, feelings, and behaviour and keeps them functional.
The following boundary statements are helpful to remember.
What other people say and do is more about them and their history than it is about you.
What you say and do is more about you and your history than it is about the other.
Boundaries are something we need to work on our whole lives. It becomes increasingly easier with maturity, practise and healthy self esteem.
Self esteem rises as you integrate unconscious aspects of yourself, make peace with your history, consciously practise loving behaviour towards yourself as well as have compassion for the wounded child within.
I believe boundaries are the answer to the majority of relationship issues we have.
Here's some steps to practise -
Take the time to hear your inner voice about what is and isn't ok for you.
Practise communicating your truth in a healthy way.
If others reactions are too much for you, work a boundary and move yourself away from them.
Listen when someone clearly states they need space.
Prepare yourself energetically before interacting with someone you know can be invasive. If it doesn't feel good change the subject or graciously end the interaction.
Practise honoring your own needs.
wishing you clear and loving boundaries
Image by Rihaij on Pixabay
Why would you want to explore a past life when you have plenty to deal with in this life time? It's a question I often hear and I totally get it. Our history is scattered with trauma, pain, loss and betrayal. Whether it's in this lifetime, or another, those experiences need to be processed and accepted. That will take plenty of your time, it's certainly taken a fair chunk of mine.
But what about when you have trouble breaking a repetitive pattern or difficulty healing a phobia or relationship issue? Maybe it's a fertility issue you haven't been able to heal, a pervasive sadness that wont go away or an inability to begin your spiritual work. From fear of loud noises, disliking a colleague and strange rashes to claustrophobia, anxiety in boats and anger at religion, past life regression can have you arriving into the original story where these issues began.
Once important events have been explored you can be supported to resolve the associated issues that are holding you back in your life today. When we die we take our unresolved emotions and thoughts with us. The anger, guilt, resentment or fear we're holding will eventually draw us to choose to reincarnate so we can attempt to make peace with them. We don't always get that down in one lifetime though, I've discovered we are slow to learn - we can do numerous lifetimes on the very same theme.
Entering an altered state to access memories and information from the rich storehouse of our unconscious mind is a fascinating journey that I've seen bring transformation to hundreds of people, including myself. My most rewarding personal shift happened after I experienced three miscarriages in a row. I discovered an awful pregnancy trauma in another time and released the stored energy of the emotions and thoughts I was deeply holding. I became pregnant only weeks later, stayed pregnant and gave birth to my beautiful son.
Any type of regressive work, whether it is this lifetime or another, can be powerful and transformational. It takes bravery and courage to explore what is not conscious in the name of healing.
So yes, making peace with your past in this life is absolutely necessary if you are wanting a happier life. When you feel drawn to explore other times, places or dimensions to get to the root of that which isn't healing or see what's ready to be made conscious then past life regression might be a pleasantly surprisingly experience for you. There's an added bonus of an expanded awareness of the greater reality of life here on Earth too!
When we discover that we've all played a variety of roles, not all of them pretty, it brings a greater acceptance of humanity in all it's flaws. This is another gift of this work. Less judgement means a more peaceful planet.
wishing you peace with all of your past
Image Robin Stuart
I recently returned home from a week away teaching past life regression in the North Island. It was a full week of travelling, teaching and planning. There were also three different beds, which is a thing as I feel the vibes of others and I can find that distracting. Pre trip was busy prepping (and attempting a non stress packing experience.)
I find it energising and inspiring to be in a big city. Living in a small town that is tucked into the top corner of the South Island of New Zealand, I often feel the urge to get out into the world. I have an interesting relationship with travel. I crave it, stress about it, delight in it, get annoyed with it and know there is a lot more of it coming for me. Once upon a time I was a flight attendant for 9 years, so it also feels strangely comfortable, although I don't enjoy flying anymore.
I have decided travel needs re-entry integration time. I arrived home and got back to work. It's a busy time in my solo entrepreneurial world - I'm getting my first book ready for publication as well as changing the way I work, I am keen to complete a long list of to dos.
During my morning yoga and spiritual practice I have been reminded by my inspiring yoga teacher to check in with myself to see how I'm doing physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually so as to know (or be guided) to what yoga or movement I'm needing. I find it helpful to remember and sense these layers of my being, I encourage you to try it.
All you need to do is sit quietly, close your eyes and become aware of your body. How is it feeling? What do you sense it needs? Now be aware of your emotion/feeling self. What feelings are there? Be with your mental body now, how is the quality of your thinking? Then take your awareness to your spiritual self. Can you sense that higher, more refined part of you? What does your spirit need?
I've discovered I need some pause, reflection, integration and down time. It is so easy for us to run with what the mind thinks is the most important thing to do or think. Our body, emotions and spirit have intelligence too that is easy to miss. When I prioritise an inner check in I can connect with this wisdom.
So, mind, I will give you a time limit for thinky, worky kind of stuff and then you can enjoy a book in the hammock. Body, you can deeply relax and emotions you can feel all you want because my mind wont be in charge. I feel happiness rising already!
wishing you connection to all of yourself
Here's an inspiring quote from a fave teacher of mine, Edward Bach that's been on my wall for years. Edward was a doctor, homeopath and spiritual writer as well as the founder of the Bach Flower Remedies back in the early 1900's. This quote is from 1931.
"Our object in life is to follow the dictates of our Higher Self, undeterred by the influence of others. This can only be achieved if we gently go our own way - at the same time never interfere with the personality of another."
I love this wisdom. If only we all did this, all of the time! What a different world it would be. I want to break down the guidance in this helpful quote.
Wise Bit 1 -
"Our object in life is to follow the dictates of our Higher Self, undeterred by the influence of others.''
I think it's quite a skill to listen to our own inner wisdom and not be distracted by what everyone else is saying and doing. When we allow our egos, rather than our Higher Self (the wise, spiritual aspect of our being) to take control we compare ourselves to others, want what others have, think we aren't doing it right, believe we're not good enough and suffer from all manner of fearful thoughts and frustrations.
Wise Bit 2 -
"...if we gently go our own way..."
What simple, clear guidance. No rushing, no pushing, no someone else's way. Gently is such a peaceful, out breath kind of word; I feel calm just thinking about gently going my own way.
Wise Bit 3 -
"...never interfere with the personality of another."
This is all about boundaries. It makes me think of 'mind your own business' - a classic effective boundary statement. We do get quite invasive with those close to us in particular. We need to remember everyone has their own path, your way is not necessarily the right way for someone else. We can be there for others when they ask for support or help, but interfering and giving advice is control, not love.
I hope you find this quote from nearly 90 years ago helpful, I know I do.
Image by Imagine_Images on Pixabay