I recently experienced a new memory from a long ago incident. It was the sudden and shocking type of recollection that requires time to process. I spent the week thinking, feeling, regressing, trying to not to analyse, feeling some more and gradually integrating this once buried wound.
During that week I was teaching healers how to support their clients by working with the wounded inner child. How perfect for me! They too experienced new memories, and, like myself, they were too young to recall it all and had no witnesses. The few days that followed had me encountering 3 others that also realised a partial disturbing memory.
Healers have always been called to make peace with themselves and their history. With their wisdom, experience and maturity they can now go even deeper. It takes courage and divine timing to be ready for aspects of trauma to come forward in a way that isn't intellectual. Buried feelings like shame and terror need strong holding from a support person or one's own compassionate adult self. When we are stuck in a child like memory it can be scary and ungrounding.
If you too have been triggered somehow into a past memory know this is a good thing. Your system is wanting to heal. Our nerves and tissue hold trauma, our pain and tension is usually based in unexpressed emotions from long ago.
When your higher self knows you are ready to finally process something old then memories will come. When they arrive in a way where you are feeling it physically, emotionally and energetically it can be surprising and confusing, especially when you have no recollection of the event. Don't let your bossy mind try to analyse it, it will stop you feeling and prolong the healing. I know the wanting to understand it thing, it's an easy default. Thinking isn't healing though, it blocks emotions like anger, sadness and grief.
Have the courage to feel painful emotions and be patient. Despite what you think or are told you don't need to know the whole story, regardless of how much your mind wants to understand it. Having no witnesses for past trauma can be frustrating and perplexing, yet if you are meant to know more the images and information will be come in the right time. Trust what is happening on a non intellectual level. You ARE healing.
As we release the hold on old emotions and thought patterns that no longer serve us we become more authentic, and that means a happier, easier life.
Tips for this kind of experience -
Wishing you kindness
Photo by Yousef Espanioly
Familiar with any of these scenarios?
You say yes because it's easier than saying no.
You begrudgingly do things for others that you really don't want to do.
Someone is shouting at you, you're feeling confused and somewhat 'out of it' as you attempt to understand them.
You keep trying to be heard despite the other saying they can't listen anymore.
These are all indications that your boundaries need some work. Don't worry though, we all have varying degrees of boundary issues due to the modelling we've seen and the way others invaded our bodies, minds or spirit when we were children.
If you have healthy boundaries other peoples words, emotions and energy will not affect you in a way that is harmful or tiring. If you continue to let people hurt or drain you your wellness is compromised.
Boundaries are actually invisible and symbolic 'fences' that protect us from being hurt, or hurting others, physically or psychologically. They also give us a way to
embody our sense of who we are.
Our external boundary allows us to choose our distance from other people and enables us to give or refuse permission for them to touch us.
Our internal boundary protects our thinking, feelings, and behaviour and keeps them functional.
The following boundary statements are helpful to remember.
What other people say and do is more about them and their history than it is about you.
What you say and do is more about you and your history than it is about the other.
Boundaries are something we need to work on our whole lives. It becomes increasingly easier with maturity, practise and healthy self esteem.
Self esteem rises as you integrate unconscious aspects of yourself, make peace with your history, consciously practise loving behaviour towards yourself as well as have compassion for the wounded child within.
I believe boundaries are the answer to the majority of relationship issues we have.
Here's some steps to practise -
Take the time to hear your inner voice about what is and isn't ok for you.
Practise communicating your truth in a healthy way.
If others reactions are too much for you, work a boundary and move yourself away from them.
Listen when someone clearly states they need space.
Prepare yourself energetically before interacting with someone you know can be invasive. If it doesn't feel good change the subject or graciously end the interaction.
Practise honoring your own needs.
wishing you clear and loving boundaries
Image by Rihaij on Pixabay
Why would you want to explore a past life when you have plenty to deal with in this life time? It's a question I often hear and I totally get it. Our history is scattered with trauma, pain, loss and betrayal. Whether it's in this lifetime, or another, those experiences need to be processed and accepted. That will take plenty of your time, it's certainly taken a fair chunk of mine.
But what about when you have trouble breaking a repetitive pattern or difficulty healing a phobia or relationship issue? Maybe it's a fertility issue you haven't been able to heal, a pervasive sadness that wont go away or an inability to begin your spiritual work. From fear of loud noises, disliking a colleague and strange rashes to claustrophobia, anxiety in boats and anger at religion, past life regression can have you arriving into the original story where these issues began.
Once important events have been explored you can be supported to resolve the associated issues that are holding you back in your life today. When we die we take our unresolved emotions and thoughts with us. The anger, guilt, resentment or fear we're holding will eventually draw us to choose to reincarnate so we can attempt to make peace with them. We don't always get that down in one lifetime though, I've discovered we are slow to learn - we can do numerous lifetimes on the very same theme.
Entering an altered state to access memories and information from the rich storehouse of our unconscious mind is a fascinating journey that I've seen bring transformation to hundreds of people, including myself. My most rewarding personal shift happened after I experienced three miscarriages in a row. I discovered an awful pregnancy trauma in another time and released the stored energy of the emotions and thoughts I was deeply holding. I became pregnant only weeks later, stayed pregnant and gave birth to my beautiful son.
Any type of regressive work, whether it is this lifetime or another, can be powerful and transformational. It takes bravery and courage to explore what is not conscious in the name of healing.
So yes, making peace with your past in this life is absolutely necessary if you are wanting a happier life. When you feel drawn to explore other times, places or dimensions to get to the root of that which isn't healing or see what's ready to be made conscious then past life regression might be a pleasantly surprisingly experience for you. There's an added bonus of an expanded awareness of the greater reality of life here on Earth too!
When we discover that we've all played a variety of roles, not all of them pretty, it brings a greater acceptance of humanity in all it's flaws. This is another gift of this work. Less judgement means a more peaceful planet.
wishing you peace with all of your past
Image Robin Stuart
I recently returned home from a week away teaching past life regression in the North Island. It was a full week of travelling, teaching and planning. There were also three different beds, which is a thing as I feel the vibes of others and I can find that distracting. Pre trip was busy prepping (and attempting a non stress packing experience.)
I find it energising and inspiring to be in a big city. Living in a small town that is tucked into the top corner of the South Island of New Zealand, I often feel the urge to get out into the world. I have an interesting relationship with travel. I crave it, stress about it, delight in it, get annoyed with it and know there is a lot more of it coming for me. Once upon a time I was a flight attendant for 9 years, so it also feels strangely comfortable, although I don't enjoy flying anymore.
I have decided travel needs re-entry integration time. I arrived home and got back to work. It's a busy time in my solo entrepreneurial world - I'm getting my first book ready for publication as well as changing the way I work, I am keen to complete a long list of to dos.
During my morning yoga and spiritual practice I have been reminded by my inspiring yoga teacher to check in with myself to see how I'm doing physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually so as to know (or be guided) to what yoga or movement I'm needing. I find it helpful to remember and sense these layers of my being, I encourage you to try it.
All you need to do is sit quietly, close your eyes and become aware of your body. How is it feeling? What do you sense it needs? Now be aware of your emotion/feeling self. What feelings are there? Be with your mental body now, how is the quality of your thinking? Then take your awareness to your spiritual self. Can you sense that higher, more refined part of you? What does your spirit need?
I've discovered I need some pause, reflection, integration and down time. It is so easy for us to run with what the mind thinks is the most important thing to do or think. Our body, emotions and spirit have intelligence too that is easy to miss. When I prioritise an inner check in I can connect with this wisdom.
So, mind, I will give you a time limit for thinky, worky kind of stuff and then you can enjoy a book in the hammock. Body, you can deeply relax and emotions you can feel all you want because my mind wont be in charge. I feel happiness rising already!
wishing you connection to all of yourself
Here's an inspiring quote from a fave teacher of mine, Edward Bach that's been on my wall for years. Edward was a doctor, homeopath and spiritual writer as well as the founder of the Bach Flower Remedies back in the early 1900's. This quote is from 1931.
"Our object in life is to follow the dictates of our Higher Self, undeterred by the influence of others. This can only be achieved if we gently go our own way - at the same time never interfere with the personality of another."
I love this wisdom. If only we all did this, all of the time! What a different world it would be. I want to break down the guidance in this helpful quote.
Wise Bit 1 -
"Our object in life is to follow the dictates of our Higher Self, undeterred by the influence of others.''
I think it's quite a skill to listen to our own inner wisdom and not be distracted by what everyone else is saying and doing. When we allow our egos, rather than our Higher Self (the wise, spiritual aspect of our being) to take control we compare ourselves to others, want what others have, think we aren't doing it right, believe we're not good enough and suffer from all manner of fearful thoughts and frustrations.
Wise Bit 2 -
"...if we gently go our own way..."
What simple, clear guidance. No rushing, no pushing, no someone else's way. Gently is such a peaceful, out breath kind of word; I feel calm just thinking about gently going my own way.
Wise Bit 3 -
"...never interfere with the personality of another."
This is all about boundaries. It makes me think of 'mind your own business' - a classic effective boundary statement. We do get quite invasive with those close to us in particular. We need to remember everyone has their own path, your way is not necessarily the right way for someone else. We can be there for others when they ask for support or help, but interfering and giving advice is control, not love.
I hope you find this quote from nearly 90 years ago helpful, I know I do.
Image by Imagine_Images on Pixabay
It's been said the veil is thinner between earth and spirit at Halloween. I like that, it has made me curious about the roots of this American holiday that is now so sugary and playful.
I learnt that Halloween originated back in ancient Celtic times when it was known as Samhain (pronounced sow-in) It was celebrated at the exact point between Autumn Equinox and Winter Solstice (around the 31st of October) marking the end of the growing season.
Samhain was recognised as the time of death within the life cycle. This is when we are drawn to go within, to rest and to be still during Winter. Darkness and all that was associated with it were celebrated. The Celts had rituals to honour those who were in the afterlife and to seek insights into other realms of existence. They did believe the veil between dimensions was thinner at this time making it easier to connect with spirit.
They also believed that when we integrate and accept the darkness the knowledge and power of the light is also renewed. This means within ourselves as well as literal and symbolic darkness.
I like the sounds of this celebration. If you're not into sugar and scary faces how about sitting still and going within to remember there are other dimensions, our loved ones in Spirit are not that far away.
Maybe you can even get still enough to hear higher guidance. Put a prayer out to be in touch with someone you love in spirit or a wise teacher. Quiet your mind and breathe. Listen. What do you feel, hear or sense?
It's not Winter time for us here in the southern hemisphere but Halloween is a good reminder to -
1. Remember that accepting the darkness as well as the light is necessary for balanced integration.
2. There are other planes of existence.
3. Remember our loved ones in spirit.
4. Tune in to be in touch with other realms.
light (and happy darkness integration) to you
IMage by Sasu Tusar
This week we have a full moon in Taurus on Thursday morning here in New Zealand. That means if you're a Taurus or Scorpio (it's opposite sign) or you have those planets in a prominent position (That requires your birth time and an astrologer) it's a particularly important time for you, especially around feelings being heightened, both positively and negatively.
In case you didn't know I was brought up with astrology, my mum has been a professional astrologer since I was young so some of this has seeped in and some I get reminded of often, thanks Mum! It is helpful to know a little basic astrological moon info so you know what to expect with full and new moons.
Full Moon Must Knows from Mum
Don't make final decisions near the full moon as they can bring emotional complications.
They can be good for getting things done as they do generate a lot of energy.
Full moons are not good for clear thinking. They are more instinctual.
They are good for emotional or spiritual matters and healing (Spirit is closer to the earth on full moons) if everyone is in harmony.
They exaggerate feelings, both positive or negative.
They are often extremely emotional and full of drama.
Full moons are good for celebrations and situations where there is a need to express emotions.
They are good for bringing out aches and pains and other health issues to look at, as the fluid content of the body builds up at full moons – around the brain also, so personality disorders are more likely to come out.
For the individuals, full moons in your own sign and in the sign of your ascendant, moon and midheaven are always more powerful for you but some are naturally more powerful than others such as the Cancerian full moon at the end of December or in January.
You will notice that they are usually more extreme before the full moon is exact, up to a week beforehand. Often by the day itself it’s all over and things even out (although sometimes they can turn around and bite you the day after.)
It’s important to be our own observers if there are issues that arise near full moons, so seek time alone if necessary.
If there are good energies around it’s an excellent time to enjoy the best of everything with loved ones or friends.
Full moons can also move the Earth's tectonic plates, causing earthquakes, as well as cause the ocean tides ebbing and flowing, so imagine what they can do to us humans who are made up of around 70% water.
The New Moon
Start projects, sign papers and put plans into action. New moons bring the ability to think logically without emotion getting in the way.
Ancient tribes including Maori would use the new moon to rest physically. They would make plans and decisions as the physical energy levels are low. (the light blocks off at the new moon.) As the energy builds up towards the full moon the plans are carried out as emotions get stronger and energy levels rise in the body.
You can follow Mum's daily astrology posts on Facebook.
I find it very helpful to have a moon calendar for planning. The following full moon will be on November 23rd in Gemini, so a biggy for Geminis and Sagis.
The next new moon will be November 8th.
wishing you healing moon times
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I was listening to a podcast yesterday, the host was discussing the reason she was making it her last show. The regular gig of continually recording batches of episodes was feeling like an effort that was deenergising her. Despite loving her work she wasn't feeling in alignment with this particular aspect of it anymore.
It got me thinking about what it takes to stay in alignment with one's self, especially when we are running our own businesses. It's certainly easy to do 'shoulds', based on the norm or what others are doing.
Staying true to our self can be a challenge, especially when we have instant access to those that we think are more successful than us. Comparisonitis only makes us feel bad for not being or doing more. It has nothing to do with alignment.
I am good at being productive and getting the task done, I can easily push myself through difficult jobs and keep going. In fact, in the past I've been surprised to find myself burnt out a few times. Months of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual recovery is an interesting learning experience. Now that I know all about that I'd much rather do alignment than burn out. It would save money, time, adrenal fatigue, numerous emotions and mental processing. Maybe you resonate?
Here's some handy symptoms to help you know where you're at.
You're Out of Alignment if :
Feeling tired or drained.
Blaming or judging (It's an unhealthy way of getting power)
You're stuck in habits that don't serve you.
You're over analysing.
You're pushing yourself to do more.
You're feeling frustrated.
You're in Alignment when:
You feel on purpose.
You're able to hear your intuition.
You feel happy and sometimes even joyful.
You have a sense of being grounded in your body.
You enjoy what you're doing.
There is ease and flow.
You are not attached to outcomes.
You feel appreciation.
When we're in the process of coming into alignment the first thing we need to do is connect to our body. It's from this grounded place that we know what our needs are. Rest, food or care of some sort is hard to know when we're disconnected due to too much doing or thinking.
It's from a body centred place that we're able to hear our inner knowing. When we're over thinking there's no room for the quiet voice of intuition. This wise inner counsel will guide us to our next steps.
We may feel sad when we realise we've been out of alignment for too long. Recovery catch up is needed, some chill time where our mind is free to relax. Play, rest, nature, movement and care will help us realign to self.
There really is no rush. Flow and ease comes from our natural aligned state. Look out for signs of being out of alignment and kindly come back to yourself.
It's a beautiful way to live.
wishing you alignment
Image by Becca Tapert
I’m currently in transition from the natural world to the modern world. This is due to returning home from 4 days in a magical healing place, The Bach.
In the 1950s my uncles built this bach near Taupo Point, Wainui in Golden Bay. When the land was claimed by The Abel Tasman National Park they were given a lifetime ownership, meaning when they died the bach would need to be dismantled. We are blessed that Uncle Jack, now the sole owner at 92 is still a vibrant, active man.
I have been staying at this special place since I was a kid. It’s a 30 min walk in at low tide with a full backpack. All our food comes too as getting back out isn’t easy. (At high tide leaving would involve going over a goat track on a steep hill and doing some swimming.) There’s some careful rock climbing to do which isn’t too hard if the tide is out and it’s not windy. (Although I have fallen twice which does hurt on those sharp rocks.)
It’s a triumphant feeling to arrive and get that backpack off. We’ve made it! We make our beds up, unpack our food then wheel the trolley down to the waterfall to fill our container. I hang up my hammock, boil the kettle and chase the weka out of the bach.
Day 1 is usually a somewhat challenging transition. The bach has holes, a long drop toilet and sometimes rats as well as no power. (There are gas bottles) The comforts of home we take for granted are suddenly missed. On this trip we left our boys allergy eye drops in the car so off we went back to the carpark only just making it back around the rocks before the tide was too high.
I had an angry, crying meltdown when I learnt my reading glasses were left in the car on trip 2. “How can I do Anything??!” My dear partner went over the hill for a 2nd walk out and a 3rd walk in.
These challenges are actually secret trials to bring emotion to the surface, for greater self-discovery and healing. I learnt I was way more wound up than I thought I was. I’d been multi-tasking to the max in full future focused work mode the days leading up to the trip. My outburst was a release of pent up stress. My partner was able to process some issues of his own on his hour solo walk. The magic was beginning. My dear boy then realised he’d left his book at home (a bach nightmare) He was able to do his processing around this new found ‘lack of’. Luckily my sister was dropping in the next day and could do a delivery.
When we sat down for a Thai red curry chicken on the beach later that day we all breathed out, unwinding was starting to happen. The unfolding days were spent doing yoga on the beach, collecting shells, playing Yahtzee on the lawn, looking for stingray, finding crabs and starfish, playing Frisbee and reading in the hammock. We kayaked, drew pictures and cooked up yummy food. At night we played Yahtzee by candle light and cosied in bed with our books. Our modern life was now 2nd best, our simple bach life was nurturing, healing and just perfect. We didn’t want to go home.
And now we are home. There were lights, cats that had missed us, hot water (which we loved) internet and too many rooms. I found it all quite intense. I couldn’t hear the waves crashing at night. I cried for the simple life. Day 1 at home was 130 emails, 4 loads of washing, food gathering and multiple adjustments at the chiropractor (how symbolic!) I couldn’t focus with so many things demanding my attention. I felt frustrated and tired. I realised this is my ‘normal’ life. I was craving to lie on the beach again with my book, so I gave up trying to do so much, sat in the sun and looked at my photos which helped. That night we lit a candle and played Yahtzee which helped too.
Today I have prayed for support to not over fill my life, to not get caught up in the pressures of modern life and to remember there is a beautiful natural world outside my door. I pray to not rush, to breathe more and to enjoy the simple things. I know this natural way is easier at the bach and I know, with practise and mindfulness, I can bring that vibe home, at least more often than I had been.
Wishing you many natural simple joys,
When I awaken my dreams are elusively fading. I quickly catch them in my journal before I'm fully conscious. Rising oceans, out of control cars and too many kittens all tell me what I'm processing on a deeper level.
In dreams the people, animals and objects are all aspects of self. The water that is rising symbolises emotion surfacing within us, cars represent how we move through our life and kittens can be vulnerable aspects of one's self that need care.
In life and in sleep we see ourselves reflected in all things. Being aware from this perspective can fast track our self development. The things we dislike or admire in another are aspects of our self, whether we are conscious of that or not. When I judge someone else I'm really judging myself. This is one way of accessing our disowned light and shadow aspects.
Victims used to really annoy me, they were the people that frustrated me the most. When I took responsibility for this projection and made peace with my own inner victim (which was a challenging journey around facing shame) I was less bothered by others victim vibe. It happens with positive qualities too, we admire people who have traits we wish to bring forward in ourselves.
One of the reasons I am fascinated with Tarot is that it's a perfect mirror for us to see less conscious aspects of self in the various symbols, archetypes and images. It's been a powerful tool for me to understand myself in new ways. Try it for yourself!
Whether it's via dreams, projections in the outside world or Tarot when the unconscious becomes conscious we know ourselves better. This discovery helps us integrate the light and the shadow parts that we have buried.
Greater integration means a more balanced, happier, successful and authentic life.
wishing you awareness of your projections
Note - It's helpful having a good symbol/dream dictionary to learn more about they relate to your life. I use Tony Crisp's, see more about that here.