Here’s a sex reminder – it’s good for you.

I’m sure you have your own list of why that is – or even a list of why it isn’t, which I would totally empathise with – sex wasn’t always good for me either.
I’ll tell you why it wasn’t, then I’ll tell why it is.

I’ve had a colourful sex life that began way too young. I might share more about that another time – for the purpose of healing, as always. And in this case, I’m imagining, some bonus entertainment.

Sex wasn’t always good for me in the past for these reasons:

• I used it as a way to avoid painful feelings – the high of sexual conquest gave me some pseudo power and the illusion I was a sex goddess (which I may well be anyway – insert a serious face emoji and a crying with laughter one.) This high was always short-lived so I needed other ‘fixes’ to keep that pain down. Enter alcohol, drugs, eating, work and shopping – all things that brought other concerning issues.

 

• I had sex confused with love which resulted in many despairing scenarios.

 

•  I didn’t know how to say no without feeling distraught at upsetting someone else, or losing what I thought was love (it was really attention, or energy – same thing) so I allowed myself to be hurt during sex. Hurt emotionally, mentally and physically. Probably spiritually too, as that sort of behaviour is soul destroying.

 

•  I was overly focussed on others pleasure thereby missing out on learning more about how my own body was feeling – this equates to being ungrounded.I was not conscious of any of that however, so I thought sex was good (and a lot of the time it actually was fun, experimental and adventurous despite being heavily laced with the above points)

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Now that I am decades older with years of therapeutic and self-healing under my belt (yep, extensive healing in those lower 3 chakras) as well as being in a long-term committed partnership I am pleased to say I have come a very long way from those days that began in my teens and waned through my thirties.

Here’s why sex (the conscious kind) is good for you:

• It is healing. Sex can, and does, trigger old sexual wounds (think physical, emotional or mental) stored in our body tissue. If you feel safe to be psychologically vulnerable (I really hope you do) and you stay present, you can release long-stored sexual grief, sadness, anger and shame – by feeling the emotion. It’s ok for some sex to be the crying kind.

 

• You get to play and have fun, that’s if you’re in the mood for that flavour of sex (there are many varieties of sexual ‘moods’ that are worth honouring).

 

• Loving touch creates feelings of safety and trust.

 

• Feel good endorphins as well as the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin are released – this means warm fuzzys afterwards that make you feel deliciously connected to your partner.

 

• You get to enjoy the buzzy high from the dopamine that floods your brain during orgasm. A bit of euphoria can be a spiritual experience.

 

• You get connected with your body. We spend so much time in our busy minds. Sex will ground you.

 

• Health benefits! Think lowered blood pressure, headache relief, boosts to your immune system, pain decreasing, heart attack risk being lowered, sleep improving and your stress being relieved.

I know in a busy life there doesn’t always seem to be the time for all sorts of things that are good for us. I think we must prioritise sex. It’s a human need that is good for us in so many wonderful ways. Go forth and have fun! Or lots of tears, or something else that feels just right in a sexual kind of way.

Ps. You don’t even need a partner to receive a lot of these benefits. Just be loving, kind and connected to yourself and stay with any psychological issues that come forward for healing (it’s common to have wounds around self-pleasure.)

Wishing you luscious love

with light
Dawn
 
Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash
 
 
 
 
 
 

You know you’re a multidimensional being but I just wanted to bring it the foreground. What this means is that you have interconnected bodies that vibrate at different frequencies and coexist within your energy field or aura.

There is your physical self, which is obvious, although we are not as connected to this body as we like to think – a topic for another time. We also have an emotional body, a mental body and varying layers of spiritual bodies.

I have found it helpful to check in with all of these ‘bodies’ – to get a ‘Personal Weather Report’ as my yoga teacher calls it. It’s a simple and important practice that I personally find fascinating.

Our busy mind can have us detached from what is happening with our body, emotions and spirit. When we ignore these levels of our being we are ignoring our Self. It can also mean dis-ease is going unnoticed until it is loud.

See what you notice as you try this now –

Sit quietly.
Take your breath and awareness to your physical body.
Notice how your body is feeling.

Now take your breath and awareness to your emotional body.
How are you feeling emotionally?
This is a little more elusive yet with focus and practise you will get to know your emotions.

Now take your attention to the quality of your thinking – to your mental body.

You might also like to breathe your focus to your spiritual self. What do you notice on that more refined level?

You are checking in with your whole self, in this moment. When you are aware of this information you can make choices to accommodate what you have discovered, or to simply be aware of how you are, holistically, in this moment.

Maybe your body feels tired and needs rest, or maybe it feels out of alignment and needs some postural adjustments. It might feel vibrant and want movement.

Emotionally you might discover anger, peace, guilt or something else. You might choose to explore that more and care for yourself appropriately. 
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Mentally you may notice that you’re obsessing on one theme, lingering in the past or jumping to the future. It’s all helpful information to know yourself better and be accepting of who you are, right now.
 
Wishing you multidimensional wellness!

with light
Dawn

Image by Pexels on Pixabay

As I wondered what I wanted to write about today I decided to listen rather than think. This is what came to me –

“The heart is the centre of our awareness when we come away from our brain.

Can you look at your world through the eyes of your heart?

Imagine you see yourself from this perspective.”

I do this now and I see myself holding mental tension. I wasn’t even aware I was doing that. How easy it is to not be in touch with the various levels of my being. As I hold this heart-focussed view, I feel myself soften. Images of my ‘concerns’ come to me, not with tension but with a loving, compassionate feel to them. What a profound and quick shift this is! Our heart awareness is gentle, kind, insightful and wise. What a lovely place to consider our life from.

Our brain is often full of ‘shoulds’. It can be righteous, pushy, rigid and tight. In ‘healthy mode’ our brain is focussed, organised and good with details. Our education system, generally speaking, has us focussed on using our brain not our heart. This means we are trained up well to see life from a more ‘mental’ perspective. With some mindful practise we can begin to see from the heart more often.

I’m been considering an ongoing problem I’ve been having from a place of analysing. As I shift my focus to my heart to view this issue, I feel the urge to surrender – to stop the striving for things to be different to how they are. A feeling of relief comes over me and my body softens.

I’ve noticed particular substances such as some carbohydrates, sugars and coffee (even the de-caf I sometimes have has a tiny bit of caffeine in it) can make it harder of me to access my heart. Their effect can keep me in a forward-moving, externally-focussed and cerebral kind of place.

The things that help me access my heart intelligence are yoga, meditation, journaling and Tarot (images and symbols are great for taking us away from our busy mind)

What kind of foods or practises help you access your heart intelligence?
 
What do you notice when you see your life through the eyes of your heart?


 
Wishing you heart-focussed attention
 
with light
Dawn


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Image by Guila Bertelli

Knowing what we are feeling has the power to change our lives in wonderful ways. When we can stay present with an emotion by breathing into it a number of things can occur:

  1. It has an opportunity to move. Emotion is energy that is too often trapped in our bodies because of our lack of experience in knowing and trusting that expressing emotion in a safe way is healing. When it is stuck in our body it creates density where life-force energy doesn’t flow. Over time this creates minor and major physical issues within our body. It can also bring about depression (an over-thinking dis-ease) blame, being addictive, judging others, self-harm and anxiety. 

  2. We may get images or impressions of a past event where that emotion originated. This shows us what we have not yet made peace with. I see this as precious information that allows us to know more about ourselves, as well as human nature. It can be an in road into a healing journey. 

  3. The emotion we are feeling may dissolve as it moves, allowing us to access a ‘hidden’ emotion – that which is underneath the surface feeling. For        instance – I know that when I sit with my anger it can quickly shift as I access the more vulnerable feeling of sadness. 

  4. The emotion will often dissolve completely as we stay with it. 

  5. We connect with our authentic self.  

It sounds simple to stay still and breathe into an emotion yet it’s not what the majority of people are doing. It’s much more common to stay with our thoughts rather than feel our feelings. Generally speaking, this is what we were taught to do. Our intellect was praised and our emotions were frowned upon. When I ask someone how they’re feeling I usually hear what they’re thinking – even with supposed self-aware people. I too can struggle to know what I’m feeling.

Even without taking the time to be present and breathe into our emotions we can be with simply knowing what we feel. This, in itself, can often settle us down into our body – away from our busy mind. From a place of knowing what we are feeling we can then make choices about how we care for ourselves. When we access our internal mother, we are practising self-love – a highly healing act.

Take the time to stop thinking so much and breathe into where you notice uncomfortable feelings – they are often your emotions wanting to be released. See if you cane name them. Be present and notice what happens.

Wishing you emotional intelligence.

With light
Dawn

Image by Sharon McCutcheon 

Been triggered lately? It’s a word that I’m hearing often – it’s being used to mean bothered, yet what it really means, in the psychological sense, is to have old traumas activated. It's happening to us all. I had a triggering experience that knocked me around for the best part of 2 days just recently. It's a very old sticky wound that has some deeply embedded fear attached to it. It requires a lot of presence as well as some gentle loving  behaviour towards myself. 

We usually believe being ‘stirred up’ is all about what’s happening in front of us. We don’t know that we’re overreacting (a classic sign of an old wound being touched). We might be left feeling anxious, upset, angry, guilty or shamed. Our thoughts might become judgmental and blamey – about the other or about ourselves.

If we’re brave enough to bring our attention back to our body and stay with what we are feeling we can notice what is below feelings like anger or anxiety. It is likely there is some deep sadness below the surface. This is old emotion that hasn’t been felt – trapped emotional energy that wants to release. If you allow yourself to feel it without judging yourself or someone else, you will be able to let go of heavy energy in your body – energy that may have been manifesting as long term, chronic pain. This is the benefit of being triggered. You have met a soulmate – someone who you have a spiritual contract with in order to help you grow and heal. You can thank them later for showing you more about yourself.

If you’re not aware of needing to be mindful (acting on an old default setting) being triggered can mean these sort of things happen:

• Blaming and/or judging (that makes us feel ‘better than’ and gives us some temporary pseudo power).
• Self-medicating with drugs, caffeine, sugar, carbs, alcohol – substances to ease anxiety.
• Fighting/arguing.
• Complaining to someone who will listen. (it’s another way we get power back from those who listen to us.) This is different to being supported and exploring your actions with someone who supports you to reflect.
• Being addictive in other ways to avoid the anxious feeling – excess work, cleaning, exercise, shopping, internet and the endless list of things we use to avoid our feelings.

If you are being conscious this is what could happen:

• You breathe and bring your energy back to yourself.
• You notice what you are feeling.
• You allow the feelings to flow.
• You are gentle and kind with yourself because you know an old trauma is being activated.
• You give yourself the love and support you didn’t get as a child at that time. That might look like tea and blankets, rest, being with your animals, journaling, connecting with your inner child via writing or visualization or something else.  If you need support it may be sharing with a wise friend or therapist.

Reparenting ourselves means we need better boundaries and a good connection to what we need at a given time.
I wish you conscious awareness and self-compassion when you are triggered.

with light
Dawn


​Image by Mikhail Vasilyev

I was tuning in to Spirit this morning and these words came through that you might find helpful.

“Here is a reminder to awaken your soul:

You have chosen this game of being human for a number of reasons. Your soul knows there is much learning that can take place in a human body. You may have enjoyed lives on Earth before and know the benefits to be had or maybe you have karma to attend to. If you’re a Lightworker you’ve been drawn to support the planet to evolve in some way.

In all cases it’s easy to pretend you are stuck, caught in unhealthy habits or lost in your mind of concerns. They are all facades. Your soul voice whispers truths to you that you ignore. Trusting such guidance alerts the ego’s fear voice. It is a loud familiar voice that you’ve been conditioned to listen to. When you allow fear to rule your life you will stay stuck, unhealthy and unhappy. That is not what your soul desires.

Your fears and doubts seem real yet they’re only an illusion. When you learn this, you will be a witness to your lower self rather than being ruled by it. This trick of being separate from Spirit has allowed you to indulge in the game of life without too much concern for a larger spiritual reality. Those days are dissolving as humanity collectively reconnects to their core being. Your inner soul voice knows this truth.
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When you suffer from dis-ease of the body or mind your highest calling is to listen to your soul voice. This guidance that comes from your true being will guide you to healing. Whether it be new self-practice, supportive healers or changes only you can make the path forward is known to you. Your job is be still and listen. Don’t let your fears be the guidance you act on.

Prioritise time every day to remember your soul. When the mind is busy your inner guidance can be hard to grasp. Practise witnessing the fear voice. Align with the highest aspect of who you really are. That is where you will find the way forward from all dis-ease.”
 
Wishing you truth.
 
With light
Dawn
 
 Image by Averie Woodard
 
 
 
 
 

Do you know the people you have weak boundaries with? I do and I find this information helpful. When we're not aware of this and our boundaries are invaded we're at risk of:
​

• Feeling hurt
• Being abused
• Putting our anger on someone else in a passive or overt way
• Wearing another's negativity
• People pleasing
• Losing our power
• Being controlled or trying to control another
• Blaming and judging

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These people are likely to be your family of origin, your partner and closest friends or colleagues. They're in the 'soul mate' category – they are your teachers.
Our boundaries are regularly violated when we're young by adults who have no idea how to respect our bodies, feelings and mind. This creates weak areas within our holographic being. When we're with those very same people or others who our psyche senses are similar we need to be mindful if we're to avoid the kind of things in that list above.

When we know our boundaries aren't intact with particular people we can practise strengthening them. Such self-awareness and an ability to care for ourselves is an evolved psycho/spiritual practise.

This might look like :

• Closing your mouth. Not speaking can be very hard when others are stirring you up yet it gives your brain some time to consider what's really going on. It also means there is no argument – that needs 2 people talking.
• Remember what another says and does is more about them and their history than it is about you (despite how personal they may be making it)
• Caring for your inner child that is hurt, feels abandoned, confused or unloved.
• Not lashing out with angry blame in retaliation. Your aware self knows that simply perpetuates an unhealthy dynamic.
• Imagining a strong loving light enveloping your energy field that only let's in love.

 
Learn to notice discomfort in your body when you're relating. Use that as a gauge to know something isn't right for you. You can then disengage from the interaction (you can do this by calmly saying something like 'I'm not feeling good about this or it isn't feeling right for me to continue this conversation') or you could try changing the subject.

You might notice your inner child wanting to hang in there to get affirmed when the situation isn't actually safe for you on some level.
I still get surprise attacks despite a pretty good awareness of who I need to be mindful with. Not being pulled in to someone else's drama takes skill. It is to easy to defend oneself which usually fuels an argument. People don't listen well when they are in fear of some kind. That includes you as you may be triggered to a similar situation from your history which means you'll be reacting from fear too.

We aren't going to get this right all the time. High levels of self observation are needed with those 'tricky players' in your world. What's most important is that you do your best to not stay locked in unhealthy relating that hurts you or someone else. Weak boundaries can have us getting sick, being addictive, repeating destructive behaviour as well as enabling someone else's unhealthy behaviour.

Healthy boundaries are a life-long work in progress so stay curious and experiment.

wishing you self-awareness
 
with light
Dawn


Image by Isaiah Rustad
 

 
I've been thinking about listening, even when I'm trying to listen. That's kind of funny to me and maybe you but not so funny for the person talking to me – unless they're one of those types that do lecture-style monologues and become unaware of whether one is listening or not (being heard is an art too). My point is listening takes effort.
 
I'm sure you're aware of patiently waiting for your turn to say that super important thing that has popped into your mind and doing your best to not lose it whilst missing some of the conversation. Or worse, just barging on in anyway and saying it. I get so frustrated with my beloved when he interrupts. I feel negated, unimportant and sometimes even used. In fact, it probably triggers some older wounds which is a whole other story. I am sure there's also an aspect of myself I am annoyed with, because I too have trouble listening.
 
Here's an alarming statistic – most of us are distracted or preoccupied about 75% of the time when someone is talking to us and immediately after we only recall about 50% of what was said (and long term it's only 20%!).
 
Collectively, I believe, we need greater mindfulness, focus and concentration –not just to make us better listeners, but to make us better people.
 
Here are some benefits to listening:

• When you truly listen you have a greater connection to your authentic self.

 

• You can intuitively connect in with what is happening on a deeper level for the person speaking.

 

• Increased self-esteem and confidence – you feel good about yourself by gifting someone your full attention.

 

• Increased ability to focus and concentrate.

 

• Taming the ego mind by being fully present.

 

• Feeling connected to the 'other'.

 

• Increased patience and tolerance.

 
Benefits to being heard:

• Feeling connected to one's self.

 

• Feeling connected to the 'other'.

 

• Brain studies show that sharing feelings lessens their intensity – that means healing is happening.

 

• Studies have also shown increased happiness.

 

• Greater ability to resolve conflict.

 

• Feeling valued and cared for.

 

• Feeling a sense of belonging.

 
 
Observe yourself, become the witness to what your thoughts are up to when someone is talking to you, gently bring yourself back to the present and practise listening.
 
 
Wishing you centred listening
 
with light
Dawn
 

Image by RitaE on Pixabay

​I recently had a virus get me. "Get me" -- that's funny but it IS an invasion. Creepy little virus energy sneaking around in my body. I believe they attack us when our boundaries are weak, which mine had been. Too much letting others stuff get to me.
 
Being unwell stopped my 'shoulds' from taking over which was a good thing and a challenging thing. I danced between overthinking and loving self-care. Now that I'm dressed and working again I want to ponder on who I am now that I'm 5 months into 2019.  Am I in alignment with my Higher Self?
 
You may want to contemplate these things too. It's easy to do what we've always done. We are such habitual creatures. We often forget that we are changing and growing. In fact, we are a new person every single day. 

What 'shoulds' are you up to?
Do they actually align with who you are now?
Who are you now that we are 5 months into 2019?
What is new about who you are?
What is still hanging around you getting in the way?
 
For me – some boundary issues to sort. My inner child gets triggered and if I'm not mindful I can forget I even have a Higher Self.

How about a check-list for you to see if you are in alignment with your own Higher Self?
 
Is this you:
 
You're rushing.
Feeling impatient.
Feeling tired or drained.
Blaming or judging (It's an unhealthy way of getting power)
You're comparing.
You're stuck in habits that don't serve you.
You're over analysing.
You're pushing yourself to do more.
You're feeling frustrated.

Or are you more in this vibe:
 
You feel on purpose.
You're able to hear your intuition.
You feel happy and sometimes even joyful.
You have a sense of being grounded in your body.
You enjoy what you're doing.
There is ease and flow.
You are not attached to outcomes.
You feel appreciation.
If you're wanting to come into greater alignment with your Higher Self the first thing you need to do is connect to your body. It's from this grounded place that we know what our needs are. It's hard to tune in to self-care stuff like rest, food, sleep, water, how much space we need etc. when we're disconnected from our body. Too much doing and too much thinking will unground you.
 
It's from a body centred place that we're able to hear our inner knowing. When we're over-thinking there's no room for the quiet voice of intuition. This wise inner counsel will guide you to your next steps.
 
Are you sad to discover you've been out of alignment for too long? Recovery catch up is needed, some chill time where your mind is free to relax. Play, rest, nature, movement and care will help you realign to yourself. I had a beautiful healing walk on our local beach yesterday. Still water, spacious vibe, sand and sea, dogs playing. Ahhh, coming down into my body. Happiness returning.
 
Flow and ease comes when we're connected to our Self. Look out for signs of being out of alignment and kindly and gently come back to yourself.

 
wishing you self-connection
 
with light
Dawn
 



Image by Sestrijevitovschii - ina 

Here's what I wrote about Pegasus in my upcoming book: Truth Spirit Love - The Essential Guide to Healing. 
 
"I thought you might be curious as to why Pegasus is on the front cover of this book. I met Pegasus during a profound inner journey I had back in 2014. I found myself on the back of this magnificent creature moving rapidly up through the sky toward massive dark clouds and lightning. I noticed some light-filled sky in the midst of this storm and prayed we'd travel safely there. Before we arrived my vision morphed into a completely different scene and so my Pegasus experience was over. I'd had a moving, exciting and sensual experience.
 
Afterwards I was keen to research Pegasus. I'd always been fascinated by unicorns yet I had dismissed this great winged stallion as being too fantastical. I was surprised and delighted to learn that in mythology Pegasus did actually fly to where thunder and lightning were released.
 
He is a symbol of ultimate freedom and supports us to rise above our earthly concerns; to live from the essence of who we truly are. His wings represent the soul's ability to transcend and rise to the heavens.
 
Pegasus is not only a symbol of transcendence but also of transformation as he ultimately takes the form of a constellation of stars. This powerful symbol reminds us change is a natural and essential aspect of our existence and that the soul is immortal.
 
All of that makes Pegasus perfect for the cover of this healing guide! May Pegasus inspire and guide you on your journey."


with light
​Dawn