I find being an introvert a fascinating and sometimes frustrating discovery journey. This is because it was late in my life that I discovered I'm not an extrovert like I thought I was so I can sometimes give myself a hard time for not being more 'out in the world'.
I am confident, enthusiastic and I do have people skills which makes me appear quite extrovertish (my new word) however I don't get energised by being with others, don't tend to act without thinking and I don't always enjoy group work.
Back in my twenties I played the extrovert well. Taking centre stage was a breeze, in fact it helped me feel seen and heard, something my inner child was sadly lacking. In hindsight a party lifestyle was necessary for that apparent extroversion. Today I think those extroverted ways hid my more vulnerable introverted self.
Of course we are all complex and often have a mix of both traits, although we do tend to lean one way more than the other. Did you know there's such a thing as an omnivert? They fall right in the middle of introversion and extroversion. Maybe I'm one of those although at this stage relate more to being an introvert.
I've noticed introverts are now 'coming out', they're talking more about what it's like for them after years of feeling inferior to their more out there cousins. It's time for the extraverted world to know that there's nothing wrong with those of us who need a lot of alone time or prefer to be contacted by text or email rather than a call.
If you're an introvert -
You tend to have few relationships that are deep rather than loads of 'friends'.
(You crave friendships but think it takes lots of time and energy to have them.)
You are often resistant to social events and sometimes need to push yourself a little to get out. (The idea of it can be worse than the actuality)
You get energised by being alone and reflecting.
You get more excited by ideas rather than external activities.
Social events can take you a long time to recover from, even when you enjoy them.
You articulate best in writing .
You're not fond of small talk.
You often feel judged by others.
You can appear aloof.
You notice things which give you a unique perspective. (Evidently the majority of scientists, inventors, artists and writers are introverts.)
You are a great listener.
You are more independent than others.
If you relate to these things I think it's time to embrace your uniqueness. You are not a weirdo! You are a quiet, sensitive, reflective soul who loves nature, peace, quiet and books. You do like your fair share of fun and outings. Know yourself, tune in to your needs and be gentle with your beautiful introverted self.
Wishing you energising alone time
Image by Anthony Tran
The peace of being alone calls me often. I am a mother to a 12 yo boy who is life learning (meaning no school), I have a partner who loves being home, I see clients, I teach and I work on social media. I go to the supermarket too many times, run car loads of boys to random places and lately I've been visiting the panel beater regularly (for weeks) chasing up an insurance claim. I seem to always be talking to receptionists and telephone 'support' people. My numerous healers are also in the mix. After a friendly catch up my hairdresser knows the drill, Dawn needs some quiet time.
I guess your life is similar. When do we get to be alone? Like really alone, the no checking the phone and making calls kind of alone. Taking time to be with yourself with no one else to engage with can be a powerful healing experience.
Being alone brings you freedom to drop your social persona. There's no one to judge you, no one to impress and no one to aspire to. You can think for yourself without being swayed by others opinions, you can reflect, dream, breathe and come back to yourself.
It's been proven that being alone allows you to develop greater empathy for others, increase your productivity, spark creativity, improve concentration, make plans for your life, increase your happiness and reduce stress and depression. Children also need this powerful healing time.
Alone time is necessary for total wellbeing. I remember hearing once from a wise teacher that everyone needs at least an hour alone every day. How about fitting some solo time into your days and weeks, even if you need to schedule it. Getting up earlier, leaving social media turned off, avoiding email and phone calls sometimes and scheduling time just for you will bring you more of all that good stuff.
You'll reset your system and feel happier. Every time I prioritise this I see immediate benefits. Make time for to hang out with the most important person you know - you.
wishing you peaceful you time
Photo by Frank McKenna
Are there rumblings of change in your world? Do you sense a new life subtlety (or loudly!) calling you? Are you listening or are you using distractions to maintain the way you're used to it being? After all, change will have us humans confronted with an unknown future and our egos sure don't like uncertainty.
We can use staying busy, working, doing shoulds (there's a few of mine for starters!) and all number of things to deny our inner knowing calling us forward. We eat, care take others and keep looking backwards rather than allowing ourselves to step into a new way of being internally and externally.
Being in unfamiliar territory means relinquishing control of the future. As humans surrender is not something that comes easily. It takes some life experience to know that resisting and ignoring change takes us on a bumpy path that may be filled with pain, emotional discomfort, blah feelings, a tiredness of life, clashes and bangs and feelings of disconnection.
I sense a collective energy that is drawing us to come forward out of all that no longer serves us.
Will you give yourself some still moments to hear what your inner voice is drawing you towards?
What do you need to release that no longer serves you?
Would you consider surrender, trust and faith?
To be in those three big energies you need to know there is a greater force at play. You have a spirit in this human body that is part of All That Is or Universal Intelligence. When you truly know that letting yourself go forward into the unknown becomes easier.
When you run your life from ego you think everything is up to you, that you are in control and you need certainty. Nothing in life is certain. Chaos will happen, it's all part of growing and evolving.
Listen to the call of change and allow yourself to let go of the past, you are being called to bring new aspects of yourself forward, to evolve! And that is a wonderful thing. Your spirit is wise and will not let you down. The Universe has your back.
wishing you courage and bravery
Photo by Ye Fung Tchen
Sometimes I feel disconnected spiritually. It happens when I rush my morning practice because of 'things to do'. It happens when I don't get up early enough to journal and greet the day with grace. It happens when I'm projecting my issues onto someone else, when I'm trying to control the future and when I forget to give thanks.
The people who come to work with me are often disconnected spiritually too. They may feel lost, lacking clarity and unable to see the way forward. I support them to come back to their inner knowing as well as to be connected to their spiritual self. This often means arriving in the body for starters. Being grounded is not as common a practise as it needs to be for our well being. I'll write more about that another time. Recovering our spirit/energy/power from the myriad of places we have projected it, understanding why that is and becoming present can take some time.
Once we're in our body we can connect with how we are actually feeling rather than getting into stories with our thoughts about our problems and why they are there. That kind of thinking is a distraction from emotions that want to emerge so we can heal and feel lighter.
When we are aware of how we are doing physically, emotionally and mentally it becomes easier to connect to our spiritual being from a place of awareness.
Feeling disconnected spiritually can look like despair, depression, questioning your self worth, loneliness, emptiness and a lack of meaning in your life. These are signs that your spirit needs some attention, that it's calling, "Be with me, attend to me."
The challenge for each of us is to recognise what we use as an excuse for not setting aside the time to connect on this level. For some it is health, for others time, family commitments or not enough money driving us to keep on pushing.
When we deny our spirit we deny our essential nature. This soul aspect of our being would love to speak to us in cherished moments but because we have become conditioned to think and do it speaks to us through pain, suffering, struggle and fear instead.
Your greatest source of pain comes from denying your spiritual nature. It is important to create a sacred space and make room for this connection. Become aware of your spirit's needs. Ask, what do you need from me? What do you need to share with me? You may need to sit quietly by yourself and journal, or let images and impressions come.
Restore your spirit by feeding it with imagination, passion, beauty, creativity and harmony. Have beautiful things around you. Listen to music. Pray. Journal your gratitude. Meditate. Read spiritual texts. Enjoy nature. Be alone in peace. Connect with animals. You instinctively know what your spirit needs. What is coming to you now as you consider that?
Know the signs that you are disconnected and enjoy the full hearted feeling of reconnecting to your Spirit and coming home to your essential nature.
wishing you many centred spirit moments
Photo by Jonas Vincent