I recently woke up feeling blah. The day before I'd had my weekly coconut milk decaf latte and GF, DF, refined sugar-free muffin for breakfast. At lunch I had refined carbs. Later on I sipped a glass of wine while I cooked our dinner.
It doesn't sound too bad, yet being a sensitive type, it was. The coconut sugar in the muffin and the slight caffeine in the decaf had me ungrounded and angsty for a few hours. The lunch carbs had me tired in the afternoon and the glass of sav had me awake in the night a few times with a pale fog in the morning to top it off.
That whole day I was somewhat ahead of myself. It's one of those sayings that really means ungrounded, i.e., I wasn't fully present in my body. When that happens I'm not in touch with my feelings, needs or inner knowing. My actions and reactions are not from a solid, authentic place. They come from habit, conditioning and often with a fear mentality.
As you can imagine that meant numerous unhelpful outcomes. For me it looked like busyness when I needed rest, blame as I avoided my feelings, work when I needed play and looking for things outside of myself to help me feel better.
It felt like I was a long way from authentic presence. It doesn't make for a high vibe me either! Here's two helpful questions to ponder or journal.
What expands me?
What contracts me?
Knowing the answers to these questions AND making choices that are pro expansion will support you to feel bigger, wiser, more intuitive, happier and, you'll have more energy too.
Wishing you expansion!
Photo by Ana J on Pixabay
I believe we all have varying degrees of trauma. There are no perfect childhoods. Our care givers did things the only way they knew how to at the time. Their actions were based on their own history. Being human means we make mistakes and can operate unconsciously from ego, fear and conditioning. As adults our intellect can make sense of that yet understanding trauma does not heal it.
The spiritual truth that we create our lives to learn the lessons we are drawn to work on doesn't heal trauma either. It too helps us understand yet fear and deep emotion are still trapped in our physical cells causing us an array of issues.
The way we internalise events varies depending on our sensitivities and circumstances. The bottles of paint I accidentally knocked down creating a major colourful mess while helping a teacher when I was 7 is not what many would perceive as traumatic yet I was overwhelmed with emotion I didn't know how to cope with. Those less sensitive or more emotionally intelligent may have laughed and rolled with it. That experience certainly wasn't life threatening like other traumatic situations I was involved in yet it did bring about some internalised shame.
Trauma has been defined as the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one's ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. I have been working on deactivating my own wound up, deeply buried inner turmoil for many years so I have come to know the nature of trauma well.
Lately I've noticed that others are having spontaneous trauma memories appearing. It seems we are collectively ready to handle the truth of our past so we can make peace with it for a healthier, happier life.
Unhealed trauma creates –
There's more I could add to that list but you get the idea. Trauma is affecting our lives adversely and stopping us from living to our full potential.
Here's what needs to happen for healing to come about –
Trust what is occurring. Don't be annoyed that there is more to heal. Healing is a long, long journey. It isn't a few workshops and sessions, nor is it one big purge and it's all done. We have a lot to make peace with. Go gently and kindly. Life is a play; the game gets easier as we make room for more light in our body. Be brave and loving.
Wishing you gentleness on your healing journey
Image by Alexas_Fotos on Pixabay
Last week we looked at the general energy of this number three year – it's all about creativity, expression and communication. We're a few weeks into the new energy of 2019. Can you sense a different vibe? I mentioned in my last blog that it can take some time to get used to a new year. What we did the year before doesn't always work. Take some time to listen to your inner voice about what needs to change for your life to flow better.
Ok, your new personal year –
Add the date and month of your birth to 2019 and keep adding until you get a single number. My birthday is January the 16th (Yay, it's tomorrow!!) So 1 + 6 + 1+ 2 + 0 + 1 + 9 = 20 2 + 0 = 2 so 2 is my personal year number.
If your personal year number is 1 it's your year to shine. Be bold, be yourself and trust your own guidance. Seize all the opportunities presented. Make the changes you've been waiting to make. It's time to plant the seeds you want to grow.
A number 2 year is time to rest and listen. This is my new vibe; it follows a number 1 year which is usually quite full on so resting is good news for us two year peeps.
Things will come to you when you are receptive. Be calm. There is no need to try hard this year. Practise patience. Do the small things and wait. It's a year of blending two different parts of your life together.
A number 3 year means it's time to express yourself and socialise. It's a joyous, fun year of communication and travel. Don't scatter your energies. Emotions can change quickly. You will radiate your beauty this year! As 2019 is a universal 3 year you'll get a double whammy of the 3 vibe so enjoy.
A number 4 year is a time to organise and take responsibility. Its time to excel. Make peace with past mistakes. Get your life in order. Take time out sometimes, this will enable you to move ahead quickly. Prepare for your future security. Work at what you do best. It's an industrious year.
A number 5 year is about freedom, change and adventure. It's a year to enjoy life. Avoid restrictions. Motivate others. Release the old, bring in the new. Promote yourself and your ideas. It's a progressive year.
A number 6 year is about love and responsibility. Slow down and enjoy your home life. You will be surrounded by love and feel content. Finish what your start, no need to rush. Allow yourself to be nurtured.
A number 7 year is about introspection and silence. Get in touch with your spirituality. Reflect. Being alone is more satisfying. Be patient.
You can have periods of using your intuitive/creative side as well as your practical /analytical side. It's great for research and behind the scenes work.
A number 8 year is about success and money. It's your power year. Big steps forward happen now. Plan your moves. Watch your ego. Take action. There are big things to be done. 8 years make you a star!
A number 9 year is the time to discard all things redundant like negative attitudes, material stuff and relationships that don't serve you. Tidy up loose ends. It's a time to quietly review your life. Avoid stress. You're in a process of completion.
The energy of numbers is fascinating. Use this mini guidance to bring greater harmony to your new year.
I wish you all a year where your authenticity shines!
Image by William Farlow, Unsplash.
I am back at my desk after days of easy hanging out at our beachy bach in Golden Bay, NZ. It is exciting to be home as it's my new moon today (I'm a Capricorn!) which means I am vibed up for planning.
Christmas and New Year celebrations are behind us and collectively we're considering what we want to do, be and create this year.
The first new moon of the year is a new beginning time for everyone - the vibe is high right now and will be for a few days so enjoy sorting out your own action plans.
2019 adds up to a 3 – this means it's a universal number 3 energy for all of us. (You will have your own personal year number also) It's a year that will be all about communication, creativity and expression. It's time for everyone to express themselves, speak their truth and share their passions.
It takes awhile to adjust to the vibration of a new year so be patient with yourself while you feel your way. We're leaving behind an emotional 2018 that was all about our relationship with ourselves and others as well as looking for balance
The collective shift into expression will take some getting used to.
You'll be wanting to speak out and share your truth. You may be drawn to help others by sharing your story, it's time to do it!
Clear communication is an art. Own your truth, don't blame, listen when people are calm and speak from your heart. Don't expect others to see things the way you do. Look out for power games, they are draining and unhealthy.
Be mindful of not taking on too much (it will be easy to scatter your energy) Finish projects before taking on new ones.
Journal your thoughts and feelings. Share with those who can hold space without being opinionated.
Be loving and clear with your verbal boundaries.
Be respectful of other peoples realities.
Write, paint, sing, garden, design, cook – get creating! When you don't express yourself creatively issues around the sacral chakra region can manifest (hips, reproductive system, lower back, colon).
Emotions can be intensified with a 3 vibe so take it easy, don't over think and remember to have fun!
wishing you graceful expression
Photo by Ivanovgood Pixabay
How was your year? It seems 2018 was a challenging and exciting year for many of us. The end of the year is a good time to self-reflect so I thought I would give you some journal questions to play with. Journaling helps us know ourselves better. It also gives us the opportunity to solidify our discoveries.
Reflecting on the year for myself brings a big out breath. A year ago we were living at my in-laws in a caravan looking for a new home and now we are having our first summer in our partially renovated (house renovators need support groups!), tropical hideaway.
I enjoyed teaching past life regression in Auckland and Tauranga as well as having 26 weeks of super fun facilitating Tarot classes. I also finished my first book and had it fully edited - that task is finalised tomorrow, the last day of the year!
Personally I also managed to squeeze in some brand new trauma memories popping up. Yikes! That had me revisiting the toughest feeling there is, shame. In hindsight it was another wonderful learning opportunity and powerfully healing. Now there is even more authentic me in the foreground!
Here are some end of the year journal questions to play with –
What did I learn about myself this year?
What new experiences did I have?
What did I accomplish that I am proud of?
What were my biggest challenges?
How did I help others this year?
What am I being called to work on?
What guidance would I give myself if I began 2018 again?
What will I take from this year into my new year?
It's powerful to vocalise the answers to these questions too, so maybe you share with a friend or say your answers out loud as well as writing them down.
Wishing you a light filled New Year
Image by Ana Tavares
It's Christmas Love time! I've always enjoyed this time of year. The smell of fresh pine radiates from my sparkly tree and the Summer vibe is kicking in. There's the excitement of gifts to give and receive. There's also yummy food being gathered and prepared.
The vibration of giving is tangible at this time of the year. Gracious giving and receiving opens our hearts. We feel genuinely cared for and appreciated and we want others to feel the same. The heart chakra expands when appreciation and love abound. With an open heart we look and act more beautiful. This is what I love. Giving gifts is healing for everyone!
Jesus was an open-hearted, healer kind of guy. This vibe is what I like to imbibe at Christmas time. I celebrate gratitude, appreciation and the big kind of Love. And sure, we don't need presents and a feast to be grateful but having all three is a bonus in my world!
This time of the year there are millions of people giving and receiving. The collective energy of Big Love is palpable when you tune into that. Yes, there's too much commercialism and hype but instead of focusing on what you don't like you could experiment being with the spirit of Love and Gratitude.
When we appreciate and accept our friends and family for who they really are, wounds and all, we expand our heart centre. We can do this for strangers too. In this practice our loving light radiates towards others, affecting their vibration. This can soften prickly bits as well as bring healing.
Enjoy giving at this time, in whatever way you feel drawn to do that. Your smile and words can be enough. Your loving light is always needed.
Let the big Love vibe of Christmas shine all over you and everyone you know.
Wishing you a Loving Christmas
I recently experienced a new memory from a long ago incident. It was the sudden and shocking type of recollection that requires time to process. I spent the week thinking, feeling, regressing, trying to not to analyse, feeling some more and gradually integrating this once buried wound.
During that week I was teaching healers how to support their clients by working with the wounded inner child. How perfect for me! They too experienced new memories, and, like myself, they were too young to recall it all and had no witnesses. The few days that followed had me encountering 3 others that also realised a partial disturbing memory.
Healers have always been called to make peace with themselves and their history. With their wisdom, experience and maturity they can now go even deeper. It takes courage and divine timing to be ready for aspects of trauma to come forward in a way that isn't intellectual. Buried feelings like shame and terror need strong holding from a support person or one's own compassionate adult self. When we are stuck in a child like memory it can be scary and ungrounding.
If you too have been triggered somehow into a past memory know this is a good thing. Your system is wanting to heal. Our nerves and tissue hold trauma, our pain and tension is usually based in unexpressed emotions from long ago.
When your higher self knows you are ready to finally process something old then memories will come. When they arrive in a way where you are feeling it physically, emotionally and energetically it can be surprising and confusing, especially when you have no recollection of the event. Don't let your bossy mind try to analyse it, it will stop you feeling and prolong the healing. I know the wanting to understand it thing, it's an easy default. Thinking isn't healing though, it blocks emotions like anger, sadness and grief.
Have the courage to feel painful emotions and be patient. Despite what you think or are told you don't need to know the whole story, regardless of how much your mind wants to understand it. Having no witnesses for past trauma can be frustrating and perplexing, yet if you are meant to know more the images and information will be come in the right time. Trust what is happening on a non intellectual level. You ARE healing.
As we release the hold on old emotions and thought patterns that no longer serve us we become more authentic, and that means a happier, easier life.
Tips for this kind of experience -
Wishing you kindness
Photo by Yousef Espanioly
Familiar with any of these scenarios?
You say yes because it's easier than saying no.
You begrudgingly do things for others that you really don't want to do.
Someone is shouting at you, you're feeling confused and somewhat 'out of it' as you attempt to understand them.
You keep trying to be heard despite the other saying they can't listen anymore.
These are all indications that your boundaries need some work. Don't worry though, we all have varying degrees of boundary issues due to the modelling we've seen and the way others invaded our bodies, minds or spirit when we were children.
If you have healthy boundaries other peoples words, emotions and energy will not affect you in a way that is harmful or tiring. If you continue to let people hurt or drain you your wellness is compromised.
Boundaries are actually invisible and symbolic 'fences' that protect us from being hurt, or hurting others, physically or psychologically. They also give us a way to
embody our sense of who we are.
Our external boundary allows us to choose our distance from other people and enables us to give or refuse permission for them to touch us.
Our internal boundary protects our thinking, feelings, and behaviour and keeps them functional.
The following boundary statements are helpful to remember.
What other people say and do is more about them and their history than it is about you.
What you say and do is more about you and your history than it is about the other.
Boundaries are something we need to work on our whole lives. It becomes increasingly easier with maturity, practise and healthy self esteem.
Self esteem rises as you integrate unconscious aspects of yourself, make peace with your history, consciously practise loving behaviour towards yourself as well as have compassion for the wounded child within.
I believe boundaries are the answer to the majority of relationship issues we have.
Here's some steps to practise -
Take the time to hear your inner voice about what is and isn't ok for you.
Practise communicating your truth in a healthy way.
If others reactions are too much for you, work a boundary and move yourself away from them.
Listen when someone clearly states they need space.
Prepare yourself energetically before interacting with someone you know can be invasive. If it doesn't feel good change the subject or graciously end the interaction.
Practise honoring your own needs.
wishing you clear and loving boundaries
Image by Rihaij on Pixabay
Why would you want to explore a past life when you have plenty to deal with in this life time? It's a question I often hear and I totally get it. Our history is scattered with trauma, pain, loss and betrayal. Whether it's in this lifetime, or another, those experiences need to be processed and accepted. That will take plenty of your time, it's certainly taken a fair chunk of mine.
But what about when you have trouble breaking a repetitive pattern or difficulty healing a phobia or relationship issue? Maybe it's a fertility issue you haven't been able to heal, a pervasive sadness that wont go away or an inability to begin your spiritual work. From fear of loud noises, disliking a colleague and strange rashes to claustrophobia, anxiety in boats and anger at religion, past life regression can have you arriving into the original story where these issues began.
Once important events have been explored you can be supported to resolve the associated issues that are holding you back in your life today. When we die we take our unresolved emotions and thoughts with us. The anger, guilt, resentment or fear we're holding will eventually draw us to choose to reincarnate so we can attempt to make peace with them. We don't always get that down in one lifetime though, I've discovered we are slow to learn - we can do numerous lifetimes on the very same theme.
Entering an altered state to access memories and information from the rich storehouse of our unconscious mind is a fascinating journey that I've seen bring transformation to hundreds of people, including myself. My most rewarding personal shift happened after I experienced three miscarriages in a row. I discovered an awful pregnancy trauma in another time and released the stored energy of the emotions and thoughts I was deeply holding. I became pregnant only weeks later, stayed pregnant and gave birth to my beautiful son.
Any type of regressive work, whether it is this lifetime or another, can be powerful and transformational. It takes bravery and courage to explore what is not conscious in the name of healing.
So yes, making peace with your past in this life is absolutely necessary if you are wanting a happier life. When you feel drawn to explore other times, places or dimensions to get to the root of that which isn't healing or see what's ready to be made conscious then past life regression might be a pleasantly surprisingly experience for you. There's an added bonus of an expanded awareness of the greater reality of life here on Earth too!
When we discover that we've all played a variety of roles, not all of them pretty, it brings a greater acceptance of humanity in all it's flaws. This is another gift of this work. Less judgement means a more peaceful planet.
wishing you peace with all of your past
Image Robin Stuart
I recently returned home from a week away teaching past life regression in the North Island. It was a full week of travelling, teaching and planning. There were also three different beds, which is a thing as I feel the vibes of others and I can find that distracting. Pre trip was busy prepping (and attempting a non stress packing experience.)
I find it energising and inspiring to be in a big city. Living in a small town that is tucked into the top corner of the South Island of New Zealand, I often feel the urge to get out into the world. I have an interesting relationship with travel. I crave it, stress about it, delight in it, get annoyed with it and know there is a lot more of it coming for me. Once upon a time I was a flight attendant for 9 years, so it also feels strangely comfortable, although I don't enjoy flying anymore.
I have decided travel needs re-entry integration time. I arrived home and got back to work. It's a busy time in my solo entrepreneurial world - I'm getting my first book ready for publication as well as changing the way I work, I am keen to complete a long list of to dos.
During my morning yoga and spiritual practice I have been reminded by my inspiring yoga teacher to check in with myself to see how I'm doing physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually so as to know (or be guided) to what yoga or movement I'm needing. I find it helpful to remember and sense these layers of my being, I encourage you to try it.
All you need to do is sit quietly, close your eyes and become aware of your body. How is it feeling? What do you sense it needs? Now be aware of your emotion/feeling self. What feelings are there? Be with your mental body now, how is the quality of your thinking? Then take your awareness to your spiritual self. Can you sense that higher, more refined part of you? What does your spirit need?
I've discovered I need some pause, reflection, integration and down time. It is so easy for us to run with what the mind thinks is the most important thing to do or think. Our body, emotions and spirit have intelligence too that is easy to miss. When I prioritise an inner check in I can connect with this wisdom.
So, mind, I will give you a time limit for thinky, worky kind of stuff and then you can enjoy a book in the hammock. Body, you can deeply relax and emotions you can feel all you want because my mind wont be in charge. I feel happiness rising already!
wishing you connection to all of yourself